Cya.

Wow, last night was rough.  Magnum made some remark as I was climbing into bed about how I mess up a bed so bad, so I stormed downstairs and cleaned the bathroom whilst crying my head off.  Dude, srsly?  O, well.  It's been a rough week.

I sent about 5 resumes to different companies today.  A few I'm really interested in.  I will not be sad to see this year go.  It's been rough.  2012 is a much better number than 2011 was anyway.

I've already created my new blog.  It's going to be more informative and less personal and whiny.  Thank eggs for that.

I guess I won't be going home for my mother's birthday, although I'm going to try like hell.  Maybe for my birthday I can get a plane ticket to her birthday?  Ha!

I'm still waiting for my grades from the fall semester.  I'm going crazy waiting.  I have no idea when to even expect them.  I'm also considering taking a two week course in January for Excel.  But that would hinder any job prospects...but isn't it customary to give employers a two week notice before moving into a new job?  So what difference would it make if I had to finish two weeks of school?  The class starts on January 3.

I'm having a date with Magnum tonight.  I'm half excited half not.  I mean, we do the same ol' thing and when I suggest something out of the box he whines.  So, we do the same thing.  But it's better than no thing, right?

Country.

I watched Sweet Home Alabama to cheer myself up...but it just made me miss home more.

You can take the girl outta the country, but you can't take the country outta the girl.

I'm sad.

Oral.

OH MY GOD.  I don't know if it's that time of year, or time of month or wtf is going on but I swear I'm on the verge of a nervous fucking break down.

I was supposed to be taking JDRW to his Tae Kwon Do class tonight and in this stupid fucking state I got lost.  I HATE it.  I never fucking found it and I had to just come home.

Now I'm home but I'm still so fucking irritated I could scream.

I also just fucking realized that I've been writing excellent written and oral communication skills instead of verbal. WTF is wrong with me.  I'm goddamn losing it.

I hate this state.  I'm here only because of Magnum and that hardly seems fucking fair.

My head is going to explode but at least I won't be stressed.

LastWeek.

The week between Christmas and New Year's is the hardest week of the year for me.  Especially this year.  I need a job.  But I don't just want a job, I want to do something that makes a difference.

Physically I have felt crappy this week.  No idea why...maybe just the no job, no money thing is getting to me.

I just feel so completely blah.  Maybe it's no school, no job, Christmas is over, no snow.  I haven't been able to do a fucking thing since Christmas.  Just laze around.  I can't get motivated to do anything.  When JDRW goes back to school I'll be working with Magnum, which is good.  But it seems soooo far away.

Maybe I'm not supposed to do anything this week.  Maybe I'm just supposed to chill, relax, hang out with JDRW.  JDRW isn't ready for the tree to come down, so I'll leave it up until New Year's Day.

This Christmas could also be the last Christmas I have with Teenager 2 for a while since he's joining the Air Force on January 11th.  Sigh.

I know it will all come together.  I know that it'll all click into place.  But this me I am right now, is not a good me.

And I have a huge pimple on my forehead.  :)  Grrrr.

Booked.

Hmmm, so I saw Skye's girlfriend today at the mall.  Not at all what I expected.  At all.  I'm sooo different from her.  I said to Magnum, she's got nothing on me.  And Magnum said, yes she does, Me.  

In other news...

I got all of my shopping done today.  Except stocking candy, which I'm going to have Magnum do tomorrow when he's out shopping for me.  :)  I'm happy with what I've gotten.  Yay!

I sent a copy of my book to my mother.  It was supposed to be sent for Mother's Day but I never got it in the mail so I sent it to her in the Christmas box to Illinois.  Now, here's the best part.  My brother "gets" it.  He gets the poems.  He won't even let my mother have her book back because he wants it.  They've called me 3 times raving about my book.  It makes me feel good.  :)  As a matter of fact, my brother has actually had to explain the meanings of some of the poems to my mother.  :)  He's a song writer so I should have known he'd love it.

And, finally...my favorite show ever is Big Bang Theory.  I'm addicted.

98.

I love routine.  I love doing certain things on certain days.  I don't do routine, but I wish I did.  Like, grocery shop on Mondays, cook chicken for dinner every Wednesday...that sort of thing.

I'm about 25% done with getting the house ready for Christmas.  But by 6 o'clock tonight I'll be 98% done.  There's always that 2%.  I might spend the evening making homemade no bake cookies since my oven is still broken.  But you'd be amazed at how many different cookies and candies you can make without an oven.  And, I love it that it makes me be creative.

I'm not even close to done with shopping, but I've got it all in my head...all the things I still need to buy.  As a matter of fact, I'm going to type up my shopping list right now.  I love lists!

But first, just let me say this:  I see from afar a relationship that goes like this.  She said she's in a relationship, but the other doesn't.  She brags her relationship all over, but the other doesn't.  I just think one is into it way more than the other.  I'm just sayin.

O, and I've also witnessed something recently that I find rather odd.  When certain women are away from their men they are these strong outspoken phenomenal people.  But when they are present with their men, suddenly they are these meek, undecided, weaklings.  It's just such an odd thing to me.

HoMade.

I missed Skye for the first time today.  Just in a friend way...mostly.  I miss her arms.  :)  But mostly I just miss hanging out with her and feeling comfortable.  I don't feel that comfortable around anyone who I'm not either related to, or married to.  :)  She was just so cozy.

I made homemade Thin Mint cookies tonight.  OMG.  They are yummo and the easiest thing ever.

Wow, the whole 70's Farrah Fawcett look is coming back.  I love it.  Or maybe it's been "in" for a while and I'm just now getting the memo. (Haha, that link is from 2009...so maybe it's just now reaching the east coast?)

The semester is over.  I feel like I can breathe again.  I've been applying for jobs.  Magnum says he might have some work for me, and another local guy might need some help with his company.  Which is exactly what I want to do.  I'd love to help a company start up.

Still no snow here in upstate.  :(  But it did finally get reallllly cold.  I did some Christmas shopping today.  And, I'm almost done already.

And I'm distracted by this new game show called You Deserve It.