Butterflies.

Ugh.  Wtf am I doing?

She texted me yesterday...we chatted a lil yesterday...I saw her at work this morning...and had lunch with her this afternoon.  The worst part is...it's like we were never apart.  So, it's happening so easily.  Too fast?  I think?

I asked her, once again, what she wants from me.  She said she doesn't want a relationship right now.  Of course, then she asked what I wanted from her. 

It's too easy to get sucked in by her.  I told her that in the past it's seem a bit one sided.  I mean it's sooo obvious that I want...whatever it is I want...but it's not so obvious what she wants with me. 

I guess what I'd want from her, for starters, would be that she reciprocate.  I don't like feeling like I'm chasing her.  And, for the record, this time, I haven't been chasing her.  I simply sent her a message asking that we be able to talk.  I wanted to talk to her about how we left things last time.  Two days later (yesterday) she texted me.  Today she asked if I wanted to have lunch with her. 

If she was anyone else, I'd take it as it seems...like she wants to hang out with me, like she's interested in me, like this is the beginning of something with potential, like she's attracted to me.  Like she wants me.  :) 

She gives me butterflies.  The last real person to give me butterflies like that was TJ. 

And, if I go to her apartment, there is no doubt in my mind that I will end up in her bed.  :) 

In a perfect world, she'd be my girlfriend.  I wouldn't have to share.  However, considering I'm married, to a man (o, no)...I could never ask her to be my girlfriend. 

Which brings me back to...wtf am I doing?  What's the point? 

As JD so perfectly put it...maybe I just let it be what it is. 

O, and a final note.  After lunch I told her she gives me butterflies.  Her reply?  She got butterlies too and it's been a long time since she's had those.

She's back.  Now what?