Neglected.

I'm feeling neglected these days.  Maybe being away for 8 days helped me to see things differently when I returned?  I just really feel like Magnum isn't paying attention to me.  Even when I speak, it's like he's not listening.  He does his things, and I guess I'm supposed to do mine.  I just haven't gotten attention or time from him.  I don't know if it's been this way for a while, and I'm just now noticing, or if it's been different just since I got back.

Fenton pays me zero attention these days.  :(  Which I suppose is probably for the best.

Then there's always the Skye drama.  She dates girls, stops talking to me, fights with the girls, calls me, the girls find out she's talking to me, the girls send me nasty messages, I stop talking to Skye, she breaks up with  girls, and asks me to be friends with her again.  Um...really?  I asked her yesterday why I should be her friend.  I've always been good to her, while she's been pretty shitty to me.  So, why should I be her friend?  The answer, simply put, is I shouldn't.  Too much drama.

While I was in Illinois, I almost hooked up (that's a funny phrase) with an ex.  I can't even explain it.  We laid in the same bed for a little while and she started rubbing my back...and it really got me all worked up.  But then I guess I started thinking about all of the girl drama that comes with hooking up...and I just didn't want that.  Plus, I see the ex as a very needy individual-I mean she's had a pretty shitty life-and I just didn't want to take advantage of her, which is exactly what the situation would have been had I allowed anything to happen.  As it turns out, just trying to explain why I couldn't hook up ended up being drama filled anyway.  I tried to be honest about why it couldn't/didn't happen...and I still kinda got told off for it.

I also met someone in St. Louis while I was visiting that may pan out to be a very unique and interesting experience.  I can't say more about it yet, because I just don't want to jinx it.  I hope it all works out.

I'm job hunting.  I hate job hunting.  I get all anxiety ridden.  I start to over think things and then I start to think what's the point and what about the cost of child care...and blah blah blah.  I did find a job listing that I really, really want for a Service Coordinator.  But, if I don't get it, it wasn't meant to be.

I need a new car.  I need a job to get a new car.  But I need a new car just the same.  Grrr.  There is a local place that will hook me up, but I have to have a real job for at least 2 months before I can get financing.

And, just to clarify, I was warm for 8 days.  Warm to the bone...hot even...maybe even a little sweaty.  And now...well...I'm freezing.  The high yesterday was 59.  Are you kidding me?  It's JUNE!!!  Grrrr.  :)