The Old Chick.

I'm not the oldest person in my math class.  That makes me happy. 

Of course, me being me, I asked the old chick to dinner.  :)  (I say old chick because she's older than my "usual".  She's 41.) 

So last night we went to dinner.

It was nice.  There was no awkwardness at all.  There was never a void or an empty space in the dinner.  She's a happy girl.  She's not Emo.  Not once did she say anything negative...how refreshing, right?

I liked it that she did the ordering.  Well, she ordered the appetizer and the dessert for us to share.  And, of course, if you know me, I love that.  She made the decisions.  It was such a nice change of pace.

She has a boyfriend and at this point I have no clue if she's bi or not.   But, I don't have to date her to be her friend.  Wow, I'm growing up huh?

Don't get me wrong, of course I would date her.  But I didn't see her and go "omg I have to have her".  I mean she certainly isn't Skye.  (DAMN kissing Skye was absolutely awesome though...I think she's in town for the holidays too.....wait, stop, don't go there!)  She is just...nice.  Maybe I just usually attract people who are emo?  I dunno.

So anyway, it was good.  It's not a crazy infatuation (like it usually is with me), it's a calm happy thing.  Yay me.

Mud.

My irritation and aggravation are crazy this week.  I can't seem to....OHHHH wait...It IS PMS week.  Well, fuck.  No wonder I'm so damn crabby.  That makes me feel so much better.

I feel like I'm trying to run in mud.  And, I can't get my head around anything.  Makes me want to scream and then hide in a corner, roll up in a ball, and hum myself to sleep.

O my.

Ney.

I really really miss Ney. 

I guess I'll go back into the dating pool....but it's kinda scary in there.

But I really do miss...it.  It being the relationship with a woman.

Nightmares.

I had horrible nightmares.   So horrible that now I'm just laying here, and the emotion is so high, that I'm tearing up. 

And, I'm all alone.

Fuck.

Break.

I need a break.  But I feel guilty when I say that. 

But all day long I have little voices asking things of me.  And, I need a break.

NAG.

I need a girl.  I miss girls, women, the female touch.  Sigh.

Girls notice things.  And say nice things about things they notice. 

And when I say, Isn't this a great rug?  She'll get all squee with me about it.  And, when I make her cookies or pie, she'll moan when she takes a bite because it IS that good. 

I just miss the closeness of a girl, because girls get it.  And, right now, it would be nice to have it gotten.

But its so fucking hard all the time.  Complicated.  Frustrating.  Ugh.  Why can't she just be here?

Sick Ticket.

Holy cow.

So, Magnum has this nephew.  He's...22ish??  Anyway, he is freakin' gorgeous.  I mean like model gorgeous. 

Anyway, tonight he's having a concert (Yes, the boy is in a band...and we all know how crazy that makes me), and I'm going to be his official band photographer.  :)

The point is, for the past two nights I've dreamed about him.  And, let me just say, I have the most awesomely vivid dreams.  HOLY COW.   I won't go into too much detail, but we were together walking down a sidewalk, and just kinda joking around and then he grabbed me and hugged me and we kissed and I was all giggling (and happy & content) and I said "what are we doing, I'm almost forty and I'm your aunt".  Of course, that didn't stop me from making out with him some more. 

Magnum would say "you are one sick ticket".  Yup, that's me.  :)