Gunk.

So, if you read yesterday's blog (and I'm not even gonna link you to it because it's one of those whiny bitchy rant blogs that I'm not so proud of) then you know it was a shit day.  And, let me tell ya, it didn't get better.  I cleaned the fridge, put away the groceries, and made dinner all while people sat around doing NOTHING to help.  But that's not the point.

The point is, the absolute HIGHLIGHT of my day was the dishwasher.  Let me splain...

For a few weeks now our glasses have been looking foggy when we've taken them out of the dishwasher.  I blamed it, at first, on the dishwasher soap.  But then, I remembered, last time it happened, I ended up having to call my handy dandy (and unfortunately not even a little Hot) fix it man.  He charged some outrageous amount to basically unscrew some screws, rinse a few filters, and be off.  :)  So last night, I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

And, it was amazing.  Cleaning things out like drains, excites me.  It's a sickness, I know.  But there was more gunk in that dishwasher that I'da thought possible.  Magnum wouldn't even stay in the room with me because it made him gag.  :)

So, at least the day ended well and now we'll have clean glasses once again.

Rant.

I try really hard not to go into total rant mode.  But this morning...I am overwhelmed with The Rant.

I am soooo tired.  I am tired of being the only one in this house who does anything.  And, I always hate it when I hear some women say that, because I look at their lives and I think...WTF are you complaining about you crazy bitch?  You don't work.  You don't have kids.  You sit on your ass alllllllll fucking day and you want to complain?

And, I'm sure there are women who will read this and say the same things about me.  So be it. 

Here are my complaints of the day:

ALL weekend Magnum is occupied elsewhere.  I am home alone with JDRW.  Not that I don't love being with JDRW, but sometimes, just every once in a while, a break would be nice.

No one does ANYTHING to help out around the house.  Right now let me just tell ya the things that need to be done that I will ultimately end up doing because no one else will.

1.  Dogs.  No one feeds them.  Or cleans up after them.  Except me.  Only ONE of the three dogs is mine.  (And, then there's the cat...I do the litter box & the feeding.  And then there's the ferrett who pretty much just runs around at will and if I mention she's made a mess it might get cleaned up or it might just sit there for two days until I clean it up.)
2.  Dishes.  I do them.  Occasionally someone will empty the dishwasher, but 90% of the time it's me.  And, loading the dishwasher, I do it.  If someone else does it, they do a half assed job.  (I know, at least they are doing it, but they aren't doing it.  They are just throwing some dishes into a hole in the wall (akathedishwasher) to shut me up or to be able to say "well I loaded the dishwasher two times last month!")
3.  Garbage.  Usually this isn't so much of a problem.  But, right now there's a bag of garbage and a full box of recycleables sitting in my kitchen, and guess who'll be taking those out?  Not to even mention the bathroom garbage which no one ever bothers taking out except me when I can't fucking stand it anymore.)
4.  Laundry.  I gather it.  I sort it.  I lug it to my car (with occasional help), I lug it into the laundry mat, I wash it, I dry it, I fold it, I load it back into my car...usually someone else carries it in and leaves it sitting in the dining room until I ask and ask again and ask in a higher voice and then yell for someone to put it away.  Magnum was helping me with this for a while, but he's been so busy doing man stuff that I've pretty much been on my own lately.  (And, I love it that he does man stuff.  I love it that he's got a social life.  But, still, I'm doing this WHOLE life thing allllll alone and it fucking sucks.)  Oh, but, if he'd take a second to fix my washer situation, then I wouldn't be lugging laundry around in my fucking car.  I've asked a few times that he take a look at it and get it fixed...I'm pretty sure it's a fairly simple fix.   But the time it would take him to fix it, I guess, is way more valueable than the HOURS I spend running back n forth to the laundry mat.) 
5.  Everyfuckingthingelse.  I cook, I clean, I pay the bills.  And, I work.  And, I am the primary care giver to JDRW.  And, the teenagers need this and that and a ride here and a ride there.  Grocery shopping.  Cooking.  Running errands.

Yesterday I helped Teenager 1 with some special stuff for a party she wanted to attend.  The majority of the mess in the kitchen currently is due to me helping her.  Has she offered at all to help me clean it up?  Nope.

And, I KNOW.  I should speak up.  Quit complaining and fix the problem.  I KNOW.  I KNOW.

But knowing all of that isn't helping this morning when JDRW is begging for breakfast, the garbage is over flowing, the dishwasher needs to be emptied so it can be filled again with the dishes that are overflowing the sink and counter.  And, that's not even including the dining room table that needs to be decluttered, or the bathroom that I know needs to be straightened, or the floors that need to be swept and mopped.  And, don't even get me started on the deep cleaning that needs to be done...windows washed, dusting, decluttering.  And, me & JDRW are the only ones home...because everyone else is too busy taking fucking advantage and taking me for granted.

Every time I get up to try to clean or straighten JDRW needs a drink or a snack or help finding something or the dog is in the road or a teenager calls and needs a ride.

Fuck.  Sometimes, I just wish, for 5 seconds, someone would consider me, like I ALWAYS consider them.

Fan.

I am not a fan today.  Of anything. 

GF.

O, and it would be really awesome to have a girlfriend.  It's been awhile.  Funny, the first person I think of is Skye.  When I think about a girlfriend, she's the one I want.  :)  Can't have...but want. 

BFF.

Sometimes I miss having a best friend.  Maybe that's part of the reason living in NY is so hard for me.  I mean, I do have friends...but I certainly don't have a Ney.  :(  I miss having a Ney.  Magnum tries.  Really he does.  And he's good at some parts.  But he's a man.  He hates Target and shopping and he absolutely refuses to go with me for a manipedi.  :) 

And.

I'm barely out of bed and I'm crabby as hell already.  I don't even know why.

I'm a little disturbed I guess because of friend of mine has kinda fallen out of my life, and it kinda sucks.  And I find myself wondering what I did to offend her.  It kinda hurts to see her making nice with others, and kinda ignoring me. 

And Magnum, as usual, is a crab ass.  I don't know what to do with him to get him not to be a crab all the damn time...but it just stresses everyone out. 

And, Teenager 1 is leaving again.  Apparently, she's getting back with her old boyfriend, who of course, lives in Illinois.  Magnum gets all bent out of shape...but she's 19.  I mean, he moved out on his own (and into the army) at 17.  I have to let her make her own decisions.  I'm not happy about it, and she knows it, but I'm also not gonna be a bitch about it.  Because that's just stupid.  I've seen parents like that, I am not one of them.

And, in 1.5 months JDRW is going to kindergarten.  And, if that's not sad enough, I have to add to that what I want to do when he's not here anymore.  Do I continue doing what I'm doing or move on to something different?  I've decided I'm not going to do something to just have a job.  I have to have a job that holds my interest.

And, now, clients have arrived, so I'm out.

DollyShines.

Holy Crow!!!