I posted that last post, I got up, and my spirit was high. I felt renewed, refreshed, inspired.
Shortlythereafter, I was hit head on by something I'd forgotten all about. Reality. What do I do with all of these negative people I'm surrounded by? I know how to be positive, but I get so unpositive so quickly when I look around and I'm all alone. There's nobody helping me do anything. At all. Ever.
I was inspired so I was going to go outside and work in the garden, but Teenager 2 came home and asked what was for dinner. I told him BLT's and they'd be ready around 6. Except it was 6:20 already. So I dropped my plan to plant, and made dinner. I call out "dinner's ready". No one eats. Except JDRW, who I am responsible for feeding. Where is everyone else? Why am I making dinner, feeding people, cleaning up? So I take my dinner into the living room, where Magnum is sorting brass, loudly. Granted, he was there first. He asks if I want to watch something else, and of course I do because I've had about enough of man shows, so after 10 minutes of flubbing around to try to record the show he was watching, and me being mostly done with my dinner already, we get to the show I want to watch. But then, he's sorting brass. Clink clink clink clink clink clink Clink clink clink Clink. Then JDRW says he needs more dinner. So I say to Magnum, you can watch whatever you want, I can't watch TV right now. He says, "Why because I'm being so loud?" Well, yeah that and JDRW needs more food and the house needs to be cleaned and the laundry needs to be washed and when that's all done I'm sure there's still MORE that is my responsibility.
I told Magnum a few days ago that either something had to change or I wanted to seperate. He said he's not a fan of the seperation idea, so something would have to change. And it has. He just stopped bitching. But his feelings didn't change. He didn't change. He just stopped verbalizing his disappointment. He and Teenager 2 are ALWAYS at odds with each other. It wears me out.
This is gonna end TODAY. Sorry people, things are about to change.
Mama's about to make a list.
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