TheOnlyThing.

So, at some point tonight (it was sometime between 10 & 10:30pm, while I was having a shower bath-it's a bath but I keep the shower on, with the spray pointed so it's not slamming me in the face)...anyway...where was I?  Oh, yeah, so I decided that the only thing standing between me and who I want to be, is me.  Me.  There are so many things I can't change, so many things I have no control over.  The one and only thing I have total control over is my body. 


Let me go back just a smidge...

I'm not a skinny chic.  I haven't been since about 1990.  And, seriously, just the other day I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror wearing just my purple bra and these cute little red polka dotted boy short style undies, and I liked the way I looked.  Soft and curvy.  I looked like the kinda girl I want to snuggled into at night.  

Now, that being said, I've also been struggling with my weight lately.  It isn't a looks thing, so much as a health thing.  And a comfort thing.  My jeans are feeling a little snug, I get winded walking up just one flight of stairs, and given my family history, it would be in my best interest to not follow my family's history.

So, I've been a bit depressed lately over my weight.  I mean not so much so that I'm sitting here eating bon bons and crying into my chocolate cake.  I'm still a confident woman.  But, I know my life would be greatly improved if I were healthier.

And the only thing stopping me from being healthier, is me.  Every time I eat a cupcake, or drink a soda, I'm making a choice. 

It's up to me to do something about it.  It seems like such an unachieveable goal. 

It's all up to me.