Soul.

Wow.

I don't know what's up with the blogger crap but it won't let me view my blog at cafeellanoise.com but if I go the old fashioned way without the domain name, it works. I dunno. It's frustrating because you can't find help anywhere on blogger.

A LOT has gone on over the past few months.

Once again, I'm wanting to go home and the only thing holding me here is Magnum. It's unfortunate. But, I hate it here. It's brown and grey and cold and lonely. Magnum tries, he really does, and so far I guess it's worked because I'm still here. I've talked to him about me going to Illinois for just the summer-maybe that would quench my thirst. Somehow I don't think it would tho. We went for a visit a few weeks ago and it felt so good to be around family and in the warmth and in the shadow of St. Louis. It's home to me. Magnum has my heart...but I'm afraid my soul is longing for family and friends and familiarity.

What else? Teenager 1 (who isn't a teenager anymore) broke up with her boyfriend and moved back to Illinois. I cried for two days. I cried because I'll miss her. I cried because her boyfriend's heart is broken and I hate it that he's hurting. I cried because I'm proud of her for following what SHE needs instead of letting others dictate her choices. I am happy for her. I'm even a bit jealous-but she knows it so it's ok.

I broke my wrist by falling up my porch two weeks ago. I just got the cast off today and it's amazing how fast I can type without that freakin' anchor. :)

I guess that's really all I have for now. I mean, there's more...I could go on and on...but I'm just...my mind is running and I have to put my thoughts into order before I type more.