Unrest.

Do we all get these feelings of unrest?  I hate it. 

In other news...according to the hpt I did earlier today, I am not pregnant.  I didn't really think I was, but it was worth being sure of.  So, I'm a fat ass just because I'm a fat ass.  Grrr.  There's gotta be a cause, and no it isn't the donut I ate for breakfast.   It happened really fast.  But, still, I guess I'll eat fewer donuts and more carrots or something.  O, well, it was bound to happen given my genes.

I also have to find a doctor.

Teenager 1 broke up with her boyfriend today.  My heart aches for the poor kid.  No, not for Teenager 1, but for the boy who's heart she just crushed.  Really.  I hate it.

See, now I'm all icky just from talking about the kid.

O, I have one of those fancy comparison things:  what's the word???  Anyway, last night Magnum and I were out back and I walked over and was looking at my garden (Which consists of a little square, very nicely mulched, plot of 4 tomato plants, with two pepper plants off to the side).  So, anyway, Magnum mows around it when he mows, but he can't get real close, so there's tall grass growing around the little square.  Anyway, we go out last night, and I am sooooo excited because one of my plants has a tomato on it that will be perfect for eating in the next few days.  I notice that I have fruitful tomato plants with loads of tomatoes on them.  Magnum notices the weeds.  I'm just about jumping up and down because of my red tomato, and he says "Mama, you need to get to weedin'"  Dude.  I seriously don't even notice the weeds.  The tomato plants are thriving, I'm gonna have a crazy load of tomatoes in a few weeks, why even notice the weeds?  So, the point is, Magnum and I just see things differently.  I see the plants, he sees the weeds.  I see the positive, he sees the negative. 

But, overall, we've been getting along well.  :)  Every stinkin' time I say that, we end up in a fight...blah blah blah.

O, and, I'm ready for fall now.  Summer can be over.  I know, I whine about wanting summer, and now I want fall.  But it is the best season!

Huge.

My boobs are fucking huge.  HUGE.  (If you are from where I live, you just heard Billy Fucillo didn't you?)

I've gained a ton of weight in the past month and my boobs are literally about to swallow my head.  It is reedickulous.  Maybe I'll post a pic....yeah, sure I will.

It is insane!

Gotta.

Sometimes I just need to write.  Even if I don't know what I want to write about.

I woke up to someone challenging me today.  She's a client, and last summer, she paid me a certain amount, and now, this summer, she's trying to convince me that it was less.  I found some emails between the two of us and fwd'd them to her, so she'd see that she was wrong.  And, she argued with me. I offer this particular client tons of extras...she certainly gets more from me then she would from anyone else.  She takes and takes, but when I mention pricing, she wants to challenge me?   Um, no.  You don't argue with someone who's let you "slide" on other things like over time, and being up to 4 days late on payments.  If she wants to go elsewhere she can.  Maybe, (but I doubt it), she'll get a better rate.  She will not, however, get better service.  She certainly will not get overtime, and sickness, and "canIstopbythestoreonthewayhome".   Grrrrr.

:)

I saw Eclipse again.  It's still awesome.  But here's a little tidbit, I swear, I saw a scene today, that I did not see the first time I saw the movie.  I mentioned it to Magnum, and he doesn't remember seeing it the first time either.  Do they still switch reels?  Maybe that's where the "switch" was and somehow it got screwed up?  I don't know how it works, I'm just pretty sure I did not see that scene the first time.

I'm going to go clean now.  It's finally cool enough for cleanin'.  :)  Yay.

Stupid.

If you are stupid, don't try to argue with me.  Please, just save yourself.

Grrrrrrr...I hate stupid.  But, I LOVE being right and knowing that she's a moron.  Although, argueing with stupid, isn't always easy because they aren't smart enough to know they're stupid.

And, if you want to complain about services rendered, you might want to check out the extra services that have been provided to you, free of charge, douchebag.

:)

Ok, enough for now.  I'm heading out to see Eclipse for the 2nd time today with an old friend.  Fun. Fun. Fun. 

InternationalSendings.

I just mailed my first ever international package to Australia!  I had to fill out a customs form and everything! 

And why did I send this package?

Because the very first winner of my Blog Follower Contest is Utegirl!!!!  Just so happens, she lives in Australia. 

So, Ute, if you are reading this, your package will arrive in 5-10 business days!  Whoot for Ute she gets the loot!  :)

Whateveritis.

Lately I find myself bored.  I went from being a facebook junkie, to being facebook irritated.  And, blogging?  Not so much. And my shop over at etsy www.etsy.com/shop/blueberrycreek is still there, but I'm ont so excited about it.   I'm just kinda blah.  Wait, not blah. Blah indicates I don't care?  I do care, but I'm just not attached to the computer or the internet, as I once was.  What I would normally say here is that I've lost my passion.  But, I think, if I say I've lost my passion, that means I feel as tho somethings missing...but it's not. 

Ut o.  Could it be I'm just...content?  Or happy?  O no. 

Is that it?  Really?

Or is the opposite?  Am I just so over trying that now I'm just like, whatever?

I'm not happy about my current weight.  It's funny...being where I was 10 pounds ago, was still a very squishy body and I was totally confident and fine...but somehow, the scale gives me a number 10 pounds larger than before, and I'm all panicked?  WTF is that about?  I guess it's a slippery slope and given my family's "medical history", I'm afraid of slipping.  The worse part about it, is, I'm a foodie.  I love to cook, and I love to eat what I cook.  I guess I can just learn a healthier way to cook.  Except healthier usually ends up tasting healthier and bluck.

Plus there's this anxiety about JDRW going to kindergarten.  It's not anxiety that he's going to school, because he will do very well there...it's anxiety that he's not my baby anymore and maybe I shoulda done more stuff with thim while I had the chance.  He's freakin' five years old now.  I hate it.  Plus, I was only going to be in this business of mine until he went to kindergarten.  So the question is...am I going to quit & do something else?  Or just keep doing what I'm doing? 

In other news...

I saw a girl on a dating website yesterday.  I have not, since Skye, looked at a girl and been so awestruck.  I mean, I guess, in person she could be a real heel. But in her pics & profile,  wow.  I'm sure I'll never hear from her because I'm married...to a freakin' man.  :)  But, still, it's nice to think that she'd give me the time of day. 

Magnum still has a girl, and I don't.  :)  And, believe it or not, I have not once gotten pissed at him about anything to do with her.  Go me.

And, for a touch of redneck this morning, I think I am entering my first 3D archery shoot this weekend.  :)  Magnum says he doesn't know if I'm ready...but to me...it's one of those things that I have to do first, so that I know what I'm doing.  I can plink arrows into a target all day long out in the backyard, but the 3D shoots are different and I really need to just get to one.  He usually goes with his brother but his brother is otherwise engaged this weekend, so he's stuck with me instead. 

Which, as a related but completely different topic...I love love love it when people think they are better than me (or just better than other people as a whole) and they brag their fucking heads off about their kids being all this and that (I brag, but I don't try to force my parenting skills or my perfection down your throat) and I personally know, that you being buddy buddy with that "friend" of yours is hysterical because guess what.  That friend, is spending a lot of time with your perfect teenager children...getting high.  Now, don't get me wrong, I know that there are those that choose to partake of illegal substances, so be it.  The punch line here, is that if you brag and brag and brag about your perfect little offspring and your perfect little christian family...maybe your should make sure the familys not out behind the barn tokin' it up.  Ya see what I'm saying here?  (Usually, I wouldn't be so "offended" by someone bragging about their kids because I brag about mine.  It's the whole "holier than thou" mentality that pisses me the fuck off!)  :)  Happy face happy face smiles all around.

O, and since I'm ranting my bloody head off here, let me just say, if you change your kids diaper and he's shitting whole balloons and chunks of crayon, perhaps you should clean your nasty fucking house?  Just saying.

Ok, here I go...back to it.  Whatever it is.

LeSigh.

Wow. 

What a downer I am.

I've lost my mojo.

Oy.