Whateveritis.

Lately I find myself bored.  I went from being a facebook junkie, to being facebook irritated.  And, blogging?  Not so much. And my shop over at etsy www.etsy.com/shop/blueberrycreek is still there, but I'm ont so excited about it.   I'm just kinda blah.  Wait, not blah. Blah indicates I don't care?  I do care, but I'm just not attached to the computer or the internet, as I once was.  What I would normally say here is that I've lost my passion.  But, I think, if I say I've lost my passion, that means I feel as tho somethings missing...but it's not. 

Ut o.  Could it be I'm just...content?  Or happy?  O no. 

Is that it?  Really?

Or is the opposite?  Am I just so over trying that now I'm just like, whatever?

I'm not happy about my current weight.  It's funny...being where I was 10 pounds ago, was still a very squishy body and I was totally confident and fine...but somehow, the scale gives me a number 10 pounds larger than before, and I'm all panicked?  WTF is that about?  I guess it's a slippery slope and given my family's "medical history", I'm afraid of slipping.  The worse part about it, is, I'm a foodie.  I love to cook, and I love to eat what I cook.  I guess I can just learn a healthier way to cook.  Except healthier usually ends up tasting healthier and bluck.

Plus there's this anxiety about JDRW going to kindergarten.  It's not anxiety that he's going to school, because he will do very well there...it's anxiety that he's not my baby anymore and maybe I shoulda done more stuff with thim while I had the chance.  He's freakin' five years old now.  I hate it.  Plus, I was only going to be in this business of mine until he went to kindergarten.  So the question is...am I going to quit & do something else?  Or just keep doing what I'm doing? 

In other news...

I saw a girl on a dating website yesterday.  I have not, since Skye, looked at a girl and been so awestruck.  I mean, I guess, in person she could be a real heel. But in her pics & profile,  wow.  I'm sure I'll never hear from her because I'm married...to a freakin' man.  :)  But, still, it's nice to think that she'd give me the time of day. 

Magnum still has a girl, and I don't.  :)  And, believe it or not, I have not once gotten pissed at him about anything to do with her.  Go me.

And, for a touch of redneck this morning, I think I am entering my first 3D archery shoot this weekend.  :)  Magnum says he doesn't know if I'm ready...but to me...it's one of those things that I have to do first, so that I know what I'm doing.  I can plink arrows into a target all day long out in the backyard, but the 3D shoots are different and I really need to just get to one.  He usually goes with his brother but his brother is otherwise engaged this weekend, so he's stuck with me instead. 

Which, as a related but completely different topic...I love love love it when people think they are better than me (or just better than other people as a whole) and they brag their fucking heads off about their kids being all this and that (I brag, but I don't try to force my parenting skills or my perfection down your throat) and I personally know, that you being buddy buddy with that "friend" of yours is hysterical because guess what.  That friend, is spending a lot of time with your perfect teenager children...getting high.  Now, don't get me wrong, I know that there are those that choose to partake of illegal substances, so be it.  The punch line here, is that if you brag and brag and brag about your perfect little offspring and your perfect little christian family...maybe your should make sure the familys not out behind the barn tokin' it up.  Ya see what I'm saying here?  (Usually, I wouldn't be so "offended" by someone bragging about their kids because I brag about mine.  It's the whole "holier than thou" mentality that pisses me the fuck off!)  :)  Happy face happy face smiles all around.

O, and since I'm ranting my bloody head off here, let me just say, if you change your kids diaper and he's shitting whole balloons and chunks of crayon, perhaps you should clean your nasty fucking house?  Just saying.

Ok, here I go...back to it.  Whatever it is.