Homesick.

I do not love NY.  We've all seen the T-Shirts, I love NY.  Well, I will not be sporting one of those shirts anytime soon.  People in NY are just so mean.  (I know I'm generalizing...and perhaps you aren't one of those people.)  But, the sense here in NY is that everyone is out for themselves.  They want to be better than you.  Need to be better than you.  Don't give a shit about anyone except themselves.  Where I come from, if you see someone in need, you help.  Here, you see someone in need and the response is usually something along the lines of "well, how'd they get into that situation to begin with?"  Or, "well, if they need food why don't they go out and find a job?"  And so forth.  Fuck me people, what the hell is wrong with you?  Or, that short lady at the grocery store can't reach the canister of cocoa on the top shelf...how many New Yorker's do you think will walk right by without helping???   Flat tire?  Where I come from, you stop & check on the people and help if they need help.  In NY, "someone will help them I'm sure they have a cell phone". 

And, you know what, it's HARD not to be like them.  It's hard to stay upbeat when people are such jerks.  It wears a person out.  Everyone is just out for themselves. 

I can envision NY people reading this blog and saying "Well, if it's so much better where you come from then maybe you should go back there." 

I wish I could. 

But maybe New Yorker's could just try for about half a second to be nice?  What?  What's that?  Offer help.  Be nice.  Keep your dirty looks to yourself.  Shut your mouth. 

I want to be nice.  But, how do you be nice to people who are such asses?

I miss home.  I really really miss home.  Don't get me wrong, those people drive me nuts too...but in a kinder, gentler way.  They are annoying for sure.   And you know what, they don't have much.  But, what they do have, they would gladly share with anyone in need. 

Where I come from, you can stop by anyone's house at any time and you are welcomed.  You don't have to call ahead, or schedule a visit 4 months in advance.  You just show up.  And, if it's dinner time, you'll eat.  They'll insist.  Even if they barely have enough for their family, they will insist that you too, have some supper. 

I keep thinking, that if I keep a positive attitude, somehow, I'll get back there.  I don't want to go back because of negative circumstances.  I want to go back because life has afforded me an opportunity to do so. 

Today is just one of those days when I miss family.  I miss my mother.  (No, I am not pregnant or dieing.)  I miss my brother's and cousins and aunts and uncles.  And, my grandma who won't be around much longer.  I miss them so much. 

Why can't it just be easy?  Just once, why can't I have it easy?

WOTD:  Homesickness