Down.

I absolutely thought I already blogged today.  I would have completely fucked up the blog a day thing if I didn't get the urge to write just now.  Because, I thought I already wrote today...wtf?

I am way down today.  Further down than I've been in quite some time.  Weird huh?  I mean, I get pissed, and mad, and hate being here...but I usually don't get down.  And, what stresses me...the worst part of everything...is money...it's completely dictates whether I'm happy or sad.  Fucking blows big fat cottage cheese chunks.  Gag.

In other news...

I reread something I wrote back in November.  I really like it.  I think it's pretty good.  Granted it needs editing and obviously more work...but it's a good foundation.  And, I just remember that someone once said, don't edit along the way...edit and rewrite after you think you've finished.  Right on.  I have the foundation down.  It's just the building on that foundation that needs to be done.

A cop or ambulance just drove by and our dog howled like crazy.  Kinda creepy.  And, on that note...when you hear a siren like that, do you automatically think "I hope it's not someone I know".  Like Magnum just left about 5 minutes ago to go to the gas station.  Then the sirens go screaming by.  So I immediately want to call Magnum to make sure he's ok.

BTW...St. John's Wort is your friend.  I'm not even fucking joking.  The difference between a Magnum who takes it, and a Magnum who doesn't, is incredible.  Night and day.  Divorced vs. not divorced.  I am absolutely fascinated by the difference.  He thinks it's all in my head...but it soooo is not.

And, that's all I got for now.  Hopefully bed will make this sad go away.  Last night it infiltrated my sleep which wasn't a good thing at all.  I want peace and contentment.  God dammit...haven't I earned that?