Note the time. Here, let me help you out. It's 12:09am...a time when I should be sleeping.
I don't understand. Am I fucking stupid? Am I just not getting it? I just don't know what the fuck else I'm supposed to do.
I try. Fuck. I really want to make it work.
But it doesn't. And it hasn't for a long long time. The only reason it appears to work, is because, up until now, I've refused to give up.
I think I don't want to refuse anymore.
I know there are other people, other couples, who don't get along...or who are unhappy. I know my "situation" isn't special.
But what is special? Me. And what I don't deserve? Unhappiness.
I don't want to ramble on about a bunch of stuff that pisses me off. I don't want to ramble on about why I'm still fucking awake and he is sleeping soundly on the couch. I don't want to ramble on about how I feel like I'm trying trying trying to be better and do better...and well...here I am...writing a ramble.
I just want peace. I just want to be content. At the end of the day, I want to have a good sigh...remember those?
1 comment:
It hurts when something is eating you up and it doesn't seem to affect the other person. Trust me. I've been there. More times than I care to remember.
But that saying holds true..."resentment is like you taking the poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Easier said than done, but try to put it behind and hopefully, just hopefully they might feel your pain. And you might get some sleep.
{{hugs}}
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