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I should leave. I should pack mine and the kids stuff up, and just leave.

But I won't.

But I should.

Because I disappoint on the regular, and I can't stand it anymore.

Yesterday, I was thinking, that on so many levels, Magnum and I aren't compatible. At all. As a matter of fact, I'd say we were at opposite ends of the compatibility scale on a lot of things. But I love him.

Is love enough?

So, anyway, now, when I am having this outrageously stressful day, I just want him not to be mad at me. I want him to not be disappointed.

I want to talk to him about the stessor...but he's going to be so mad at me. I keep typing emails to send him, and then I chicken out. Because why should he be stressed? I mean, I'm stressed enough, why should we both be. I guess I figure confessing to him will make me feel better.

20 minutes later...

So I emailed and as expected he's pissed.

I need to not be this person that I am. I need to be better. And I will be.

From this point forward I will be better.