Obstacles.

I wish I was at peace.  I wish that I could wake up in the morning and love the fresh air coming through the window, the sweet scent of honeysuckle trickling in.  I wish that I could just be...content...and happy.  I want to wake up and be like Ahhhh, this is sweet.

Instead I'm a crabby fucking ass.  It seems like everything I try to do is difficult.  For instance, just now I was going to clean JDRW's room...and one of the daycare kids had pulled a drawer out of his dresser.  So I just spent 10 minutes trying to get the fucker back in and on the track.  And, now I'm just fuming.  I had to walk out of the room, so that I could just breathe.

In other news...Magnum and I watched a movie the other night and the woman is divorced and all of her kids are at college and she walks into her house and it's quiet and clean.  And I say, "fuck that would be so awesome".  And I continue to elaborate on how awesome it would be.  Then I notice Magnum is kinda quiet...and when I ask what's wrong...he doesn't answer.  After a while he says, and he's on the verge of crying, that he can't imagine our house without me and JDRW in it.

Sigh.  I told him he better be nicer to me then.  I know that sounds mean...but it's honest.

Wow.  I'm just totally hatin' today.  Maybe I should just go back to bed.