For years, I've had aching hips & knees. Sometimes I would get out of bed and have trouble going up or down the stairs. Made me feel like I was 86 instead of 36. And, some nights, I couldn't sleep because my legs hurt so bad.
And then, someone said, "I don't drink diet soda because the cons aren't worth the pros."
I decided to test that theory.
And, for the first time in years, my hips do not hurt. My knees are feeling fine. I don't think it's all in my head. It's been about a month since I stopped drinking the diet soda, and I really don't have the aches anymore.
So, if you ache, try stopping the diet soda and see how that goes for you. Let me know.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
4
I used to have nightmares...a lot. I would have lucid dreams where my eyes were open, I could see the room around me, but I could not move or call out. A few times I've managed to say "wake me up" and the boy would wake me. In most nightmares, I am lost. Wait...I don't think that's right exactly. I'm not lost, but I can't find the boy. And, always, my phone doesn't work. In most of the dreams I try to call 911 and it doesn't work. What the hell is that about? But I haven't had any nightmares in a long long time...until...
Last night, actually this morning, sometime between 7:05 & 7:34, I managed to have 2 dreams. In the first, I was dreaming that I was trying to wake up, and the boy woke me up. Usually, in my dreams, I can say...this is a dream, you'll be alright. Except, this time, I thought I was awake because the boy had just woken me up from the dream.
Except, he hadn't.
So, I dream that we are at the mall. I'll just highlight the dream. There was a little korean girl named Ava, who took a liking to me. Then, there was a grandpa who was wrapping his very small grandson in this rubbery rope and then slinging him across the room. (wtf?) So, I go to find security to tell them, and I'm in the middle of the conversation, and the boy comes up and interrupts...and the security guards ignore me and go to take care of the boys issue. Which pissed me off. I was yelling at the boy and I walked away and told him he could find me when he was ready to apologize.
Anyway...as it turns out...he thinks I have the baby, and I think he has the baby, turns out, neither of us do. So, I'm trying to call people on my phone but it won't work and I'm crying and freaking out. And, then the boy uses his phone to call 911. I'm sitting on the bench and I start just screaming my daughters name...and she's in a dressing room and she answers. I am frantic telling her we lost the baby. She says..."He's over at Ponderosa, eating. I told him to wait there." So I run around the corner and I am screaming his name...and there he is sitting at a table eating macaroni and cheese.
It was the best feeling in the world to have him in my arms and kiss him.
When I woke up, I was sweating so much that my hair was wet.
Weird stuff huh? Ponderosa? Weird.
Last night, actually this morning, sometime between 7:05 & 7:34, I managed to have 2 dreams. In the first, I was dreaming that I was trying to wake up, and the boy woke me up. Usually, in my dreams, I can say...this is a dream, you'll be alright. Except, this time, I thought I was awake because the boy had just woken me up from the dream.
Except, he hadn't.
So, I dream that we are at the mall. I'll just highlight the dream. There was a little korean girl named Ava, who took a liking to me. Then, there was a grandpa who was wrapping his very small grandson in this rubbery rope and then slinging him across the room. (wtf?) So, I go to find security to tell them, and I'm in the middle of the conversation, and the boy comes up and interrupts...and the security guards ignore me and go to take care of the boys issue. Which pissed me off. I was yelling at the boy and I walked away and told him he could find me when he was ready to apologize.
Anyway...as it turns out...he thinks I have the baby, and I think he has the baby, turns out, neither of us do. So, I'm trying to call people on my phone but it won't work and I'm crying and freaking out. And, then the boy uses his phone to call 911. I'm sitting on the bench and I start just screaming my daughters name...and she's in a dressing room and she answers. I am frantic telling her we lost the baby. She says..."He's over at Ponderosa, eating. I told him to wait there." So I run around the corner and I am screaming his name...and there he is sitting at a table eating macaroni and cheese.
It was the best feeling in the world to have him in my arms and kiss him.
When I woke up, I was sweating so much that my hair was wet.
Weird stuff huh? Ponderosa? Weird.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
3
I'm married. We covered that in a previous blog. But, I like girls. A lot. Lucky for me, so does my husband. We have (in theory) an open relationship. I am unfair in how I handle the openness...and I know it. I have to have a girlfriend, and then, he can have one. Like, I don't want to sit at home while he's out with someone else, unless I have someone as well. Make sense?
Which isn't the point at all.
The point is, about 5 months ago, I "met" a girl. Actually, I met her at her work when she gave me some assistance. I don't know why I was instantly attracted to her...but I was.
And, what you'll learn about me, is...if I'm interested, I'll find out who you are and how I can get to know you better. It sounds like stalking...but really...it's just collecting info.
I guess that wasn't the point actually. This is:
I started talking to her, emailing & whatever.
Then we went out. Simple. Nothing big. She's 16 years younger than me. Which to me, doesn't really matter, but I guess to her it does. She also seems to have issues with my husband & my children who are almost her age.
I like her. A lot. On our second "non-date" (and after months of emailing, webcamming, chatting, texting) she invites me to her apartment. And I go. And we end up in bed. Nothing happened...except snuggling...and maybe a little tucking into warm places. But no making out or kissing or anything that could be mistaken for sexual anything.
Great.
Except she has this new potential girlfriend who lives a few hours away. Who may become her girlfriend as of tonight.
So, again, I'm still not to the point.
The point is, I think she likes me. Truly. But she refuses to give in to that. And it's infuriating. I understand, but at the same time, dammit!
I guess there really is no point, except that once again, I want what I don't think I can have.
And I want it.
Which isn't the point at all.
The point is, about 5 months ago, I "met" a girl. Actually, I met her at her work when she gave me some assistance. I don't know why I was instantly attracted to her...but I was.
And, what you'll learn about me, is...if I'm interested, I'll find out who you are and how I can get to know you better. It sounds like stalking...but really...it's just collecting info.
I guess that wasn't the point actually. This is:
I started talking to her, emailing & whatever.
Then we went out. Simple. Nothing big. She's 16 years younger than me. Which to me, doesn't really matter, but I guess to her it does. She also seems to have issues with my husband & my children who are almost her age.
I like her. A lot. On our second "non-date" (and after months of emailing, webcamming, chatting, texting) she invites me to her apartment. And I go. And we end up in bed. Nothing happened...except snuggling...and maybe a little tucking into warm places. But no making out or kissing or anything that could be mistaken for sexual anything.
Great.
Except she has this new potential girlfriend who lives a few hours away. Who may become her girlfriend as of tonight.
So, again, I'm still not to the point.
The point is, I think she likes me. Truly. But she refuses to give in to that. And it's infuriating. I understand, but at the same time, dammit!
I guess there really is no point, except that once again, I want what I don't think I can have.
And I want it.
2
It seems like I grocery shop a lot. But there is never anything to eat. I spend an outrageous amount of time at the grocery store...and two days later...we're down to peanut butter & ground beef & popcorn. I mean, sure, if we had to survive on the food we had in the house, we could probably live for at least three weeks on what we currently have. We certainly aren't starving. I try creating weekly menus, which seems not to work so well. I think I'm good at planning dinner, but everything in between seems to fall by the wayside. I'm welcome to advice if anyone wants to offer any.
1
I usually don't start new things on uneven dates...let alone at the end of the month. But...I am inspired today and inspiration doesn't know that it's the end of January.
It isn't very original, but I will start this new blog with a random list of things that I am excited about or passionate about or bothered by. I'll shoot for a list of 25.
1) I watch people. I learn a lot that way.
2) I love mason jars & mismatched dishes.
3) I would rather someone give me a "found" treasure (or something they've made), instead of something they've purchased at a store. (Examples of found treasures: an old rusty spoon found in the woods, and old Atlas mason jar found in the woods, an old railroad spike, wild flowers picked from the side of the road, a photo taken by the giver, or a painting painted by the giver.)
4) I've slept with married men. And, I liked it, a lot. However, I would never do it again. The people that I've hurt haunt me now...and I can never "take it back".
5) I'm bisexual...but I don't like that title. As soon as you read bisexual...you think of sex and threesomes and naughty things...and that is the opposite of what it means to me. I love who I love not because they have a penis or a vagina...but because of who they are.
6) I hate the smell of scrambled eggs cooking.
7) I overdraw my checking account weekly. Mostly this happens because I "gamble" with my money. Sometimes it turns out well, other times, not so much. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to stop doing this. I've done ok so far. (And, by gamble, I don't mean, gamble. I mean, I stretch my money farther than I should.)
8) I love Barack Obama. He inspires me to be a better person.
9) People who have dated me, never end up hating me. Most of them would date me again if the opportunity were given. I like that.
10) I feel sorry for children who's parents don't seem to have time to raise them. I mean, really, is it too much to brush your 3 year old daughters hair before you bring her in to public? And, is it so hard to teach a child to be polite? (And, yes, I do have children. And, I'm sure there have been days when I've taken my children into public with syrup in their hair and mismatched socks, but it's once in a great while. We all have those days. But...well you know what I'm talking about.)
11) I suppose I am pro-choice, although, again, I don't like the label. But, all of those people who protest abortion...and hold up signs of tiny baby body parts...they need a reality check. I feel like I should stand out there and hold up signs of children who were born to parents who now abuse them or neglect them. 12) I am cold, always.
13) I think parents who smoke with their children at their sides, should be punished. (I think smoking is silly to begin with, but I also understand it's an addiction, and it's not as easy to stop as one would hope. But I hate seeing a car filled with cigarette smoke, and a baby in a car seat in the car.)
14) I don't like stupid.
15) I often wonder why women are the way they are. Why are we so jealous and vindictive and mean? Even those of us who claim not to be, tend to be from time to time. And I don't understand it. Why can't we all "be in this together" instead of hating?
16) I'm cocky confident, but not in a mean way.
17) I'm not skinny and I'm ok with that.
18) I have always wanted to own a restuarant, even though I can never remember how to spell that word.
19) I get hives when I talk to someone I am attracted to.
20) I tend to lack the ability to filter what I say before I say it.
21) I have PMDD. For those of you who don't know, that's premenstral dysphoric disorder. It wasn't so long ago that I thought women used PMS as an excuse to be a bitch until I started paying attention to my "moods". There are days when I literally can not think, or focus. For someone who doesn't have PMS or PMDD it seems like an excuse. But for those of us who have it, it is as real as sunshine.
22) I am married but I do not believe in monogamy. I'm sure it works for some people, but I sincerely believe that some people just weren't meant to be in a monogamous relationship. I consider myself polyamourous(?). I have this fantasy of me and a bunch of wives and husbands living together and growing our own food and selling vegetables and pottery at the Farmer's Market for a living. That having been said, I also love being married. I love having a manly man for a husband. I love that I feel safe with him around. I love that the best part of my day is climbing into bed next to him with his big manly man arms wrapped around me.
23) I can never keep my shoes tied.
24) I love brand new boxes of 64 (or more) Crayola crayons.
25) I don't close my eyes in the shower.
It isn't very original, but I will start this new blog with a random list of things that I am excited about or passionate about or bothered by. I'll shoot for a list of 25.
1) I watch people. I learn a lot that way.
2) I love mason jars & mismatched dishes.
3) I would rather someone give me a "found" treasure (or something they've made), instead of something they've purchased at a store. (Examples of found treasures: an old rusty spoon found in the woods, and old Atlas mason jar found in the woods, an old railroad spike, wild flowers picked from the side of the road, a photo taken by the giver, or a painting painted by the giver.)
4) I've slept with married men. And, I liked it, a lot. However, I would never do it again. The people that I've hurt haunt me now...and I can never "take it back".
5) I'm bisexual...but I don't like that title. As soon as you read bisexual...you think of sex and threesomes and naughty things...and that is the opposite of what it means to me. I love who I love not because they have a penis or a vagina...but because of who they are.
6) I hate the smell of scrambled eggs cooking.
7) I overdraw my checking account weekly. Mostly this happens because I "gamble" with my money. Sometimes it turns out well, other times, not so much. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to stop doing this. I've done ok so far. (And, by gamble, I don't mean, gamble. I mean, I stretch my money farther than I should.)
8) I love Barack Obama. He inspires me to be a better person.
9) People who have dated me, never end up hating me. Most of them would date me again if the opportunity were given. I like that.
10) I feel sorry for children who's parents don't seem to have time to raise them. I mean, really, is it too much to brush your 3 year old daughters hair before you bring her in to public? And, is it so hard to teach a child to be polite? (And, yes, I do have children. And, I'm sure there have been days when I've taken my children into public with syrup in their hair and mismatched socks, but it's once in a great while. We all have those days. But...well you know what I'm talking about.)
11) I suppose I am pro-choice, although, again, I don't like the label. But, all of those people who protest abortion...and hold up signs of tiny baby body parts...they need a reality check. I feel like I should stand out there and hold up signs of children who were born to parents who now abuse them or neglect them. 12) I am cold, always.
13) I think parents who smoke with their children at their sides, should be punished. (I think smoking is silly to begin with, but I also understand it's an addiction, and it's not as easy to stop as one would hope. But I hate seeing a car filled with cigarette smoke, and a baby in a car seat in the car.)
14) I don't like stupid.
15) I often wonder why women are the way they are. Why are we so jealous and vindictive and mean? Even those of us who claim not to be, tend to be from time to time. And I don't understand it. Why can't we all "be in this together" instead of hating?
16) I'm cocky confident, but not in a mean way.
17) I'm not skinny and I'm ok with that.
18) I have always wanted to own a restuarant, even though I can never remember how to spell that word.
19) I get hives when I talk to someone I am attracted to.
20) I tend to lack the ability to filter what I say before I say it.
21) I have PMDD. For those of you who don't know, that's premenstral dysphoric disorder. It wasn't so long ago that I thought women used PMS as an excuse to be a bitch until I started paying attention to my "moods". There are days when I literally can not think, or focus. For someone who doesn't have PMS or PMDD it seems like an excuse. But for those of us who have it, it is as real as sunshine.
22) I am married but I do not believe in monogamy. I'm sure it works for some people, but I sincerely believe that some people just weren't meant to be in a monogamous relationship. I consider myself polyamourous(?). I have this fantasy of me and a bunch of wives and husbands living together and growing our own food and selling vegetables and pottery at the Farmer's Market for a living. That having been said, I also love being married. I love having a manly man for a husband. I love that I feel safe with him around. I love that the best part of my day is climbing into bed next to him with his big manly man arms wrapped around me.
23) I can never keep my shoes tied.
24) I love brand new boxes of 64 (or more) Crayola crayons.
25) I don't close my eyes in the shower.
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