TisTheSeason.

Yes, my friends, it is girl season.  Holy crow.  Must be the effing weather.  Courtney Jensen has been playing on my computer all day while I've been doing some fall cleaning.  Kinda nice...fire in the fireplace...Courtney & her sister serenading me...weather all misty and fallesque.

So, where was I?  Haha.

I'm a full time student again.  Not at all overwhelmed with it.  Spanish will be the only real challenge.  And so far it's not so bad.  The instructor is really good & patient.

Roller Derby starts on Saturday.  I'm pretty excited.

And, this has to be said.  I have a profile on a dating website.  Occasionally I'll get a lame message from a girl or two...none of whom hold my attention.  Well, I mean, obviously there've been a few who've held  (haha-originally I wrote help instead of held-oddly enough one of the girls who I met on the dating sight who has held my attention, I'm planning to go see The Help with.) my attention for quite a while...but not recently.  So yesterday I get this message just out of the blue...and...she seems too good to be true.  I keep looking at her profile to see if she's legit.  I keep thinking she must have a penis-which really, I guess, wouldn't be so bad-but I don't like the thought that she could be fooling me.  What is the worst she could be?  What would the worst possible "thing" be for me to not want to hang out with her?  I guess we'll see.

Tis the season kids, tis the season.

BlahdyBlahBlah.

I'm such a freakin' positive person, I won't even let myself get depressed.  I'm having a shitty day...just down about no money, no job, roof caved in...blah blah blah.

But every time I start thinking how bad it sucks, my head or heart or whatever starts reminding me of how bad it really isn't.

I'm almost 40, and I really thought I'd be "better" by now.  I thought I'd be accomplished or something.

Yet, here I am, unemployed and overwhelmed and trying to be depressed about it...and hope won't let me. 

I guess it's a good thing.

Remember.

BoyDidIt!

Haha, my last post said a storms comin'.  And boy did it.  For the first time since living here, JDRW and I headed to the basement for safety from a tornado.  And, an actual tornado did run through about 20 miles from here.  The weather lady on tv said, "If you are in these areas, please take cover..." and bam, the power went out.  Seconds later debris, or perhaps hail, started pounding the front of the house.  JDRW and I trekked down to the basement, only to find Magnum had just arrived home and was coming into the basement from outside.  Needless to say, we did not get hit by a tornado...but we got hit by some serious storms. 

So, here's the list.  In the past two-three weeks I've lived through an earthquake, a hurricane, a tornado, and being let go from my job.  :)  Wowza.

In other news...

I registered for classes yesterday.  Success in that arena all hinges on my Pell Grant.  I had to register yesterday without the Pell completely in place...it's all a matter of waiting for other people to do their jobs now.  Teenager 1 and I are going to college together.  :)  We registered together yesterday.  Although we don't have any of the same classes, we arranged our schedules so we can carpool.  I love it.  Plus, she tends to get a little stressy in new situations, and considering she's fairly new to NY, I think she's happy to have me with her.  I love my kids.  I know plenty of kids who wouldn't want their mothers hangin' around. 

Speaking of kids, JDRW is now sleeping in his own bed.  In his own room.  I hate it, and at the same time, I'm loving not being in the middle.  He just looks so content laying there in his own bed.  And, I love how he does things when he's ready...and then it's done.  Like riding a bike.  He wasn't ready for the longest time...and then he said, no training wheels...and a day later, he's a pro.  Same with his room.  He always had an excuse, but then he decided, and boom...he's all grown up.  :( 

And, finally, I'll leave you with this.  I've discovered recently that I'm an Indigo child-or person...whatever.  And, that JDRW & Teenager 1 are also Indigo kids.  Granted, some of the stuff seems pretty new age and a bit crazy...but if you can just look at the characteristics of Indigo kids...WOW.  Me, Teenager 1, and JDRW all fit those to a T.   Magnum?  Yeah, he's the opposite of Indigo.  Which is why he clashes so badly with JDRW at times.  I've actually got Magnum reading Indigo Children for dummies.  Haha.  Of course, scientists seek to disprove the presence of Indigo kids suggesting that the creator of the concept simply wanted to give an excuse to parents who's children had adhd, or add, or learning disabilities.  That's not my situation at all.  JDRW is brilliant beyond his years.  It's fascinating.

Storm.

Growing up in southern Illinois has given me a super power.  I can predict rain.  It's uncanny.  There's a change in pressure or something, right before a storm.  It'll be sunny and blue skies and I'll feel the pressure change and I'll say to Magnum, "Rain's comin'."  He'll ignore me and 15 minutes later he's running around in the rain rolling up windows and putting away his 4 Wheeler.   :)    (Haha, I went and did some research for the topic below, and just as I came back here I felt the pressure change-it's gonna rain y'all.)

I dreamed of losing teeth last night.  From http://www.wiki.com/:  "this may symbolize the start of a new phase in your life", which is pretty appropo right now.  On Tuesday I'll call the college, see if I'm all clear to register.  I'll take MWF classes, and do something else in between.  Personal chef work would be GRAND.  But I'll do other stuff too.  I just don't want to go back into the corporate world.  I didn't realize until I was out of it, how much it was taking out of me.


In other news...I got back to school shopping done today for the kids.  Yay me.  Sad to see them go back.  And, really, I think JDRW might be some kinda genius.  :)  He reads like crazy.  And he's smart...in a common sense way.  He understands sarcasm and he just gets stuff.  He's like an old man in a 6 year olds body.  And to think, last year his teacher wanted to put him in Special Ed classes because he couldn't hold his scissors the way she thought he should.  WTF is wrong with that picture?  Just makes me wonder how many other kids get placed in special ed classes, who really don't need to be there, but then the stigma of being a special ed student fucks them up for life.  Grrrr.  It's all about how much money the school can get off of the kids. 

Anyway, I've just been kinda laying low...pondering. 

I guess on Tuesday I'll know what my next step will be. 

I need to go roll up some windows now.  Storm's a comin'.

Enough?

This one time, I said I was a positive person and hopeful.

Grrrr.  Today is one of those off days.

I shouldn't let the negative asses around me drain my positive hopefulness...but it just makes me so angry.

No matter what, no matter how hard I try, no matter how positive or happy I am, there's always someone who never appreiciates, only points out the negative, is always fucking jerky. 

When is enough enough?

WorthyVoices.

My head is going about 200 miles per hour and my body wants to go in reverse.  :)

I got some good advice from a worthy source today.  Made things not seem so shabby.

I'm this - close to getting into college for the fall.  I'm always a step or two behind, aren't I? 

I think I'll go take a nap to quiet the voices in my head.

Cookin'.

So, I'm going back to doing something I love...at least I'm going to try. 

Personal Chefdome.  :)  I'm going to advertise and just see what I can get.  In a perfect world I'd do the Personal Chef thing on Tuesdays and Thursdays and go to school on MWF. 

As a backup, I can always do childcare again, although that feels like going backwards and I'm not really down with that idea at all.

In other news...

In one week I survived my first earthquake, my first hurricane, and being fired from my job.  :)  And, I'm still happy as a clam. 

:)