Happenings.

I'm cranky.  I haven't been cranky for a while, and I'm a little uncomfortable with it.  Every little thing is so challenging this week.  It's one of those weeks when I want to sleep and not wake up until next Tuesday.  :)

So, I'm forcing myself to write this blog in which I will make a list of the positives.

Top Ten Reason to not be Cranky!
1.  My Associate of Arts Degree arrived from my college in Illinois, yesterday!  I cried when I opened it, and cried again when I showed it to Magnum. 
2.  I am having a girls day this weekend.
3.  Roller Derby on Saturday.  Whoot.
4.  Spring is just around the corner.
5.  I will be attending Suny Plattsburgh in the fall.
6.  I might get to get a real job soon.
7.  JDRW has his kindergarten orientation in April.  (yeah, I am excited & sad)
8.  I'm gonna save up for a new computer.
9.  Boston next weekend for my birthday!
10.  There's only 2 more days left of winter break! 

Perspective.

Isn't it odd how life sometimes throws a curve ball, and suddenly perspective appears, right before your eyes?

And, when that happens, all the things that used to matter, seem so unimportant.

All of the anger and bitterness fades. 

We are one together again, instead of one seperated.

And I can't imagine ever going back.

Happy?

I told Magnum that I was irritated and unhappy and I was tired of it and I wanted to be unirritated and happy.  I said, (jokingly, but seriously) why can't you just do for me what you do for your girlfriends and make me happy?

Needless to say, he ended up saying, "I guess I just don't know what makes you happy anymore."

Does he need a fucking memo? 

Here's a quick list.

Don't start bitching at me the second you walk through the front door.  Don't sound irritated when I call you.  Appreciate what I do.  Understand that contrary to what you might think, I am not sitting on my ass all day doing nothing.  Understand that the house doesn't clean itself, and dinner doesn't whip itself together just as you walk in.  Understand balance.  Let me know you love me.

It's my opinion that you don't love me anymore but you aren't gonna admit that.  So, either I have to do something to change the situation, or...or...or what?

Cult Anthro.

Ok, so...we all know how much I do not like ACC.  And, I had decided not to take classes there because they were being kinda prickish.

Except, Plattsburgh told me I could get ahead a little if I took a few classes at ACC before the fall.

Anyway, all this to say...

I had planned to drop my drawing class, but of course I missed the date for dropping, so if I dropped I'd still have to pay.  Thus a decision to try to just switch from drawing to something I could actually use for my Bachelors.  Of course, ACC being ACC they were gonna make me drive 45 minutes one way, to pick up a piece of paper to have the instructor sign...blahblahblah.

So, I emailed the instructor & told her all of this.  Then I called her to follow up.  We discussed that I would come to class on Wednesday (last night) and have the paper signed then. 

Anyway, the whole point is...on Tuesday night, I got onto my ACC student site and there I was, enrolled in the cultural anthropology class, and unenrolled in the drawing.  What?  I didn't do that.  Yeah, the instructor did it for me.  How freakin' awesome is that?

She also emailed me her syllabus.  And, I loved her from that moment on.  She's one of those no nonsense kinda people.  Don't come in late, don't use your phones, don't feed me any bullshit about where your homework is.  She's tough.  But real.

Last night in class, I figured out why she's so awesome.  Ha!!!  She's from St. Louis.

It's gonna be an awesome class.  Awesome.

Slump.

Is this just a slump, or will it get better? 

I don't think it will ever get better.  I think we are just at the beginning of the end.

There's just no...nothing. 

We have different ideas, and priorities, and likes and dislikes. 

There's no spark.  There's no fun.  There's certainly no passion.

But, me being me, I avoid conflict at all costs. 

And then there's the JDRW factor and I have to decide if a blah relationship between his parents is good enough to hold onto for his sake, or if everyone, including him, would be better off in a different situation.

Yeah, I know, next week I'll blog about how much I love Magnum...blah blah blah.  And I do love him.  But I just don't feel, IT anymore.

On the way home from shopping this morning, I thought, maybe I should focus on me.  I'll focus on making me the best me I can be, and then, if I'm all good, and our relationship isn't, I'll go from there. 

Oh, Life.  Sometimes you are such a prick.