It's been brought to my attention that I've double posted something but I don't have time to fix just now...so deal.
Also, I have much to write but no time for writing...so...hopefully I'll get to update soon.
Quickly tho...
Camping was awesome. Dinner with Chica was fun! I baked about...150 cookies & two loaves of bread, and a pan of sweet corn bread and a pot of soup today. Ha. Bored Much?
Oh, and facebook is not letting me log in so I can't post my cute little pic. Bah.
Oh, and one more thing. If you log onto okcupid, you need to log off when you are done. Because if you do not log off, I "sign in" and I think I have mail, so I read mail, only to realize that aforementioned mail is not mine, but yours. But it is about me, and not nice. Oh well, WE all know who the real loser is in that little trio. :)
Ok, really, I must go. I think we are going to watch Doubt tonight.
Oh, and one more thing. Pawn totalled her car. So we haven't seen her since Monday and don't know when we'll see her again. She's ok. She wasn't hurt at all...but her car is fucked so she has to rely on her parents who live 2 hours away. Fun times. Fun times indeed.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
171
Juicy Burgers in Geyser. Yum. I had a mushroom & swiss burger, yummy. And their fries are yummmmmmyyyy too. You should totally go there. I think the website is www.juicyburgers.com (but I’m not positive so if you go there and it’s a big booty website…sorry. Or you can thank me later.)
Also, here’s a handy little cleaning tidbit. I use dishwasher gel to clean stuff. Obviously it has bleach so don’t use it to wash your favorite red sheets or your favorite blue hoodie. But I use it to clean the bathroom, and more recently I used it to clean out the cooler. The smell is much more pleasant then regular bleach, and it’s thick so it’s less likely to splash. It also takes stains off of my counter tops, and I used it to clean my white kitchen sink. It’s awesome. Also, if you’ve never used a Magic Eraser, you sooooo need to run out right now and grab ya some. Amazing little sponges.
Also, Pawn and I found these duster things.. They are floor dusters that you wear on your feet like slippers. They are awesome. And the duster parts come off so you can throw them in the wash as needed.
So, Magnum has been saying all along that our car wasn’t big enough to fit our camping stuff in. Well, I keep saying, “we can do it! It’s a challenge, but we can do it.” Except, now that I have most of the stuff gathered up…yeah…unless we tie a few kids to the roof of the Focus, we are sooooooo gonna have a serious challenge on our hands. Srsly.
In other news…
I was attempting to do the healthy thing before camping. So last week I was totally following a low calorie diet. And ended up having an “episode”. I was in bed and around 3am was awoken by some outrageous pain in my chest. It was horrible all night and all the next day. Every time I would take a bite of food, it hurt my chest so bad. I even paid enough attention to know I would take a bite and 10 seconds later the pain would hit. So bad it would bring tears to my eyes. So, I go to the doctor and she says that the valve between my eshophogus and my stomach was irritated so that was the cause of the pain. She gave me Prilosec and I haven’t had any problems since. I just think it’s funny that I’m trying to eat healthy and it bites me in the ass, or in the valve, as it were. I blame the mustard seeds in the spicy mustard I ate. Or it could have been the salsa I nom nom nom’d my way through the night before the episode.
I just ate some frosted shredded wheat and the carbs are kicking my ass. I’m nodding off just sitting here typing.
I washed Pawn’s laundry yesterday. And, oddly enough, I liked it. I liked being the domestic girl. I could so dig staying home while my husband and girl go out to work. J She’s a student (temporarily on hold) and wants to get an engineering degree. A girlfriend who’s an engineer is pretty hot. J
A while back I wrote a blog about trying to hook up Mist & Pawn’s best friend. Let me give him a name…Marty. So, I was trying to hook Mist & Marty up. And we (Magnum, Pawn & I) asked Marty & Mist if they wanted to go out, sort of on a group date, and meet for the first time and just have a blast.
We were all in. Except, of course, Mist. She was so negative about it and thought of every excuse possible to not go. Which pissed me off. She gives this “poor me” attitude and when something good comes her way, she doesn’t even take a shot. So what if she and Marty didn’t hit it off? We’d still all be there just having fun. But, nope, not Mist. So, to be honest, I’m glad she didn’t go because after having met Marty, she doesn’t deserve him. I thought they would have made a great couple. But, if she can’t even take a little chance, then it’s her loss. I felt proud of him, and sorry for her because there was a girl sitting alone and Magnum and I were kinda teasing about why she was alone. And, Marty says “Maybe she’s really nice.” It was so sweet & sincere. And I thought, see Mist! See what you missed! So, now, I’m gonna go out with him. Just on a date w/no romantic or sexual anything. Just a date to hang out. Magnum approved! J
Ok, now I have to go do something productive because I’m at the 90% mark. Magnum always busts on me because I’ll do a job or a chore and almost get it done, but not quite. Like, I’ll clean the whole house, but there’ll just be a sock laying on the living room floor. Or I’ll sweep, and then never pick up the little pile of dust bunnies. (Ney used to help me with this…I’d do 90% and then she’d finish. She’s a good girl. As a matter of fact, since Pawn’s been around I’ve been missing Ney soooo much. I also missed her when we went to Roller Derby the other night…but that’ll be a whole nuther blog.)
Bye for now.
Also, here’s a handy little cleaning tidbit. I use dishwasher gel to clean stuff. Obviously it has bleach so don’t use it to wash your favorite red sheets or your favorite blue hoodie. But I use it to clean the bathroom, and more recently I used it to clean out the cooler. The smell is much more pleasant then regular bleach, and it’s thick so it’s less likely to splash. It also takes stains off of my counter tops, and I used it to clean my white kitchen sink. It’s awesome. Also, if you’ve never used a Magic Eraser, you sooooo need to run out right now and grab ya some. Amazing little sponges.
Also, Pawn and I found these duster things.. They are floor dusters that you wear on your feet like slippers. They are awesome. And the duster parts come off so you can throw them in the wash as needed.
So, Magnum has been saying all along that our car wasn’t big enough to fit our camping stuff in. Well, I keep saying, “we can do it! It’s a challenge, but we can do it.” Except, now that I have most of the stuff gathered up…yeah…unless we tie a few kids to the roof of the Focus, we are sooooooo gonna have a serious challenge on our hands. Srsly.
In other news…
I was attempting to do the healthy thing before camping. So last week I was totally following a low calorie diet. And ended up having an “episode”. I was in bed and around 3am was awoken by some outrageous pain in my chest. It was horrible all night and all the next day. Every time I would take a bite of food, it hurt my chest so bad. I even paid enough attention to know I would take a bite and 10 seconds later the pain would hit. So bad it would bring tears to my eyes. So, I go to the doctor and she says that the valve between my eshophogus and my stomach was irritated so that was the cause of the pain. She gave me Prilosec and I haven’t had any problems since. I just think it’s funny that I’m trying to eat healthy and it bites me in the ass, or in the valve, as it were. I blame the mustard seeds in the spicy mustard I ate. Or it could have been the salsa I nom nom nom’d my way through the night before the episode.
I just ate some frosted shredded wheat and the carbs are kicking my ass. I’m nodding off just sitting here typing.
I washed Pawn’s laundry yesterday. And, oddly enough, I liked it. I liked being the domestic girl. I could so dig staying home while my husband and girl go out to work. J She’s a student (temporarily on hold) and wants to get an engineering degree. A girlfriend who’s an engineer is pretty hot. J
A while back I wrote a blog about trying to hook up Mist & Pawn’s best friend. Let me give him a name…Marty. So, I was trying to hook Mist & Marty up. And we (Magnum, Pawn & I) asked Marty & Mist if they wanted to go out, sort of on a group date, and meet for the first time and just have a blast.
We were all in. Except, of course, Mist. She was so negative about it and thought of every excuse possible to not go. Which pissed me off. She gives this “poor me” attitude and when something good comes her way, she doesn’t even take a shot. So what if she and Marty didn’t hit it off? We’d still all be there just having fun. But, nope, not Mist. So, to be honest, I’m glad she didn’t go because after having met Marty, she doesn’t deserve him. I thought they would have made a great couple. But, if she can’t even take a little chance, then it’s her loss. I felt proud of him, and sorry for her because there was a girl sitting alone and Magnum and I were kinda teasing about why she was alone. And, Marty says “Maybe she’s really nice.” It was so sweet & sincere. And I thought, see Mist! See what you missed! So, now, I’m gonna go out with him. Just on a date w/no romantic or sexual anything. Just a date to hang out. Magnum approved! J
Ok, now I have to go do something productive because I’m at the 90% mark. Magnum always busts on me because I’ll do a job or a chore and almost get it done, but not quite. Like, I’ll clean the whole house, but there’ll just be a sock laying on the living room floor. Or I’ll sweep, and then never pick up the little pile of dust bunnies. (Ney used to help me with this…I’d do 90% and then she’d finish. She’s a good girl. As a matter of fact, since Pawn’s been around I’ve been missing Ney soooo much. I also missed her when we went to Roller Derby the other night…but that’ll be a whole nuther blog.)
Bye for now.
170
Garden. We all know how much I love my garden. Well, usually we plant this huge garden out back. Except this year, I’ve changed it up. At the side of our house there’s an ungrassy spot where Jack’s pool was last year. It’s just a small rectangular space. And, I decided that is where I’m planting. J So, yesterday I planted 5 tomato plants & 4 pepper plants. I’ll probably also plant some zucchini & squash and possibly some cucumbers. I love tight little gardens like that. It’s kinda like the one I had when I lived in Illinois, but smaller. Oh, and I’m “making” a fence out of tree branches, which I really really love. I’ve thought about it in the past, but never actually did it. And yesterday, I was like, why the hell not? So I gathered all of the fallen branches and limbs in our yard and surrounded the garden with them. It still needs more work, but it’s a start.
We are about to go camping, so I’ve been gathering stuff up and making sure it’s all in working order. So, I brought Jack’s life vest up and called him in to try it on. He saw it and said “Oh COOOOOLLLL! Is it a jet pack?” Ha. It was so funny.
Hahahahahahhahahhhhahahahaha. As, I’m writing this, another chica asked me out. J I’m having dinner with her tonight. J Why do I think that’s funny? And, I think that’ll be her “name”. Chica. So Chica and I are going out tonight. I don’t think it’s a date. But, we shall see. J
Oh and just a side note, if you’ve never had Godiva Chocolate, you need to. OMG.
Juicy Burgers in Geyser. Yum. I had a mushroom & swiss burger, yummy. And their fries are yummmmmmyyyy too. You should totally go there. I think the website is www.juicyburgers.com (but I’m not positive so if you go there and it’s a big booty website…sorry. Or you can thank me later.)
Also, here’s a handy little cleaning tidbit. I use dishwasher gel to clean stuff. Obviously it has bleach so don’t use it to wash your favorite red sheets or your favorite blue hoodie. But I use it to clean the bathroom, and more recently I used it to clean out the cooler. The smell is much more pleasant then regular bleach, and it’s thick so it’s less likely to splash. It also takes stains off of my counter tops, and I used it to clean my white kitchen sink. It’s awesome. Also, if you’ve never used a Magic Eraser, you sooooo need to run out right now and grab ya some. Amazing little sponges.
Also, Pawn and I found these. They are floor dusters that you wear on your feet like slippers. They are awesome. And the duster parts come off so you can throw them in the wash as needed.
So, Magnum has been saying all along that our car wasn’t big enough to fit our camping stuff in. Well, I keep saying, “we can do it! It’s a challenge, but we can do it.” Except, now that I have most of the stuff gathered up…yeah…unless we tie a few kids to the roof of the Focus, we are sooooooo gonna have a serious challenge on our hands. Srsly.
In other news…
I was attempting to do the healthy thing before camping. So last week I was totally following a low calorie diet. And ended up having an “episode”. I was in bed and around 3am was awoken by some outrageous pain in my chest. It was horrible all night and all the next day. Every time I would take a bite of food, it hurt my chest so bad. I even paid enough attention to know I would take a bite and 10 seconds later the pain would hit. So bad it would bring tears to my eyes. So, I go to the doctor and she says that the valve between my eshophogus and my stomach was irritated so that was the cause of the pain. She gave me Prilosec and I haven’t had any problems since. I just think it’s funny that I’m trying to eat healthy and it bites me in the ass, or in the valve, as it were. I blame the mustard seeds in the spicy mustard I ate. Or it could have been the salsa I nom nom nom’d my way through the night before the episode.
I just ate some frosted shredded wheat and the carbs are kicking my ass. I’m nodding off just sitting here typing.
I washed Pawn’s laundry yesterday. And, oddly enough, I liked it. I liked being the domestic girl. I could so dig staying home while my husband and girl go out to work. J She’s a student (temporarily on hold) and wants to get an engineering degree. A girlfriend who’s an engineer is pretty hot. J
A while back I wrote a blog about trying to hook up Mist & Pawn’s best friend. Let me give him a name…Marty. So, I was trying to hook Mist & Marty up. And we (Magnum, Pawn & I) asked Marty & Mist if they wanted to go out, sort of on a group date, and meet for the first time and just have a blast.
We were all in. Except, of course, Mist. She was so negative about it and thought of every excuse possible to not go. Which pissed me off. She gives this “poor me” attitude and when something good comes her way, she doesn’t even take a shot. So what if she and Marty didn’t hit it off? We’d still all be there just having fun. But, nope, not Mist. So, to be honest, I’m glad she didn’t go because after having met Marty, she doesn’t deserve him. I thought they would have made a great couple. But, if she can’t even take a little chance, then it’s her loss. I felt proud of him, and sorry for her because there was a girl sitting alone and Magnum and I were kinda teasing about why she was alone. And, Marty says “Maybe she’s really nice.” It was so sweet & sincere. And I thought, see Mist! See what you missed! So, now, I’m gonna go out with him. Just on a date w/no romantic or sexual anything. Just a date to hang out. Magnum approved! J
Ok, now I have to go do something productive because I’m at the 90% mark. Magnum always busts on me because I’ll do a job or a chore and almost get it done, but not quite. Like, I’ll clean the whole house, but there’ll just be a sock laying on the living room floor. Or I’ll sweep, and then never pick up the little pile of dust bunnies. (Ney used to help me with this…I’d do 90% and then she’d finish. She’s a good girl. As a matter of fact, since Pawn’s been around I’ve been missing Ney soooo much. I also missed her when we went to Roller Derby the other night…but that’ll be a whole nuther blog.)
Bye for now.
We are about to go camping, so I’ve been gathering stuff up and making sure it’s all in working order. So, I brought Jack’s life vest up and called him in to try it on. He saw it and said “Oh COOOOOLLLL! Is it a jet pack?” Ha. It was so funny.
Hahahahahahhahahhhhahahahaha. As, I’m writing this, another chica asked me out. J I’m having dinner with her tonight. J Why do I think that’s funny? And, I think that’ll be her “name”. Chica. So Chica and I are going out tonight. I don’t think it’s a date. But, we shall see. J
Oh and just a side note, if you’ve never had Godiva Chocolate, you need to. OMG.
Juicy Burgers in Geyser. Yum. I had a mushroom & swiss burger, yummy. And their fries are yummmmmmyyyy too. You should totally go there. I think the website is www.juicyburgers.com (but I’m not positive so if you go there and it’s a big booty website…sorry. Or you can thank me later.)
Also, here’s a handy little cleaning tidbit. I use dishwasher gel to clean stuff. Obviously it has bleach so don’t use it to wash your favorite red sheets or your favorite blue hoodie. But I use it to clean the bathroom, and more recently I used it to clean out the cooler. The smell is much more pleasant then regular bleach, and it’s thick so it’s less likely to splash. It also takes stains off of my counter tops, and I used it to clean my white kitchen sink. It’s awesome. Also, if you’ve never used a Magic Eraser, you sooooo need to run out right now and grab ya some. Amazing little sponges.
Also, Pawn and I found these. They are floor dusters that you wear on your feet like slippers. They are awesome. And the duster parts come off so you can throw them in the wash as needed.
So, Magnum has been saying all along that our car wasn’t big enough to fit our camping stuff in. Well, I keep saying, “we can do it! It’s a challenge, but we can do it.” Except, now that I have most of the stuff gathered up…yeah…unless we tie a few kids to the roof of the Focus, we are sooooooo gonna have a serious challenge on our hands. Srsly.
In other news…
I was attempting to do the healthy thing before camping. So last week I was totally following a low calorie diet. And ended up having an “episode”. I was in bed and around 3am was awoken by some outrageous pain in my chest. It was horrible all night and all the next day. Every time I would take a bite of food, it hurt my chest so bad. I even paid enough attention to know I would take a bite and 10 seconds later the pain would hit. So bad it would bring tears to my eyes. So, I go to the doctor and she says that the valve between my eshophogus and my stomach was irritated so that was the cause of the pain. She gave me Prilosec and I haven’t had any problems since. I just think it’s funny that I’m trying to eat healthy and it bites me in the ass, or in the valve, as it were. I blame the mustard seeds in the spicy mustard I ate. Or it could have been the salsa I nom nom nom’d my way through the night before the episode.
I just ate some frosted shredded wheat and the carbs are kicking my ass. I’m nodding off just sitting here typing.
I washed Pawn’s laundry yesterday. And, oddly enough, I liked it. I liked being the domestic girl. I could so dig staying home while my husband and girl go out to work. J She’s a student (temporarily on hold) and wants to get an engineering degree. A girlfriend who’s an engineer is pretty hot. J
A while back I wrote a blog about trying to hook up Mist & Pawn’s best friend. Let me give him a name…Marty. So, I was trying to hook Mist & Marty up. And we (Magnum, Pawn & I) asked Marty & Mist if they wanted to go out, sort of on a group date, and meet for the first time and just have a blast.
We were all in. Except, of course, Mist. She was so negative about it and thought of every excuse possible to not go. Which pissed me off. She gives this “poor me” attitude and when something good comes her way, she doesn’t even take a shot. So what if she and Marty didn’t hit it off? We’d still all be there just having fun. But, nope, not Mist. So, to be honest, I’m glad she didn’t go because after having met Marty, she doesn’t deserve him. I thought they would have made a great couple. But, if she can’t even take a little chance, then it’s her loss. I felt proud of him, and sorry for her because there was a girl sitting alone and Magnum and I were kinda teasing about why she was alone. And, Marty says “Maybe she’s really nice.” It was so sweet & sincere. And I thought, see Mist! See what you missed! So, now, I’m gonna go out with him. Just on a date w/no romantic or sexual anything. Just a date to hang out. Magnum approved! J
Ok, now I have to go do something productive because I’m at the 90% mark. Magnum always busts on me because I’ll do a job or a chore and almost get it done, but not quite. Like, I’ll clean the whole house, but there’ll just be a sock laying on the living room floor. Or I’ll sweep, and then never pick up the little pile of dust bunnies. (Ney used to help me with this…I’d do 90% and then she’d finish. She’s a good girl. As a matter of fact, since Pawn’s been around I’ve been missing Ney soooo much. I also missed her when we went to Roller Derby the other night…but that’ll be a whole nuther blog.)
Bye for now.
169
(Note: I am currently using WiFi because my internet is down. Oh, and, I’ll be camping for Memorial Day weekend and there is no electricity, let alone internet, so I will be computer and blogless for 4 days. Also, if you follow my facebook, I’ll still take the pics, but they won’t get posted until I get back.)
(Another note: Smiley faces were lost in translation, and are now just "J". Weird huh? So the random J's are actually smiley faces that I don't want to go back and correct.)
So, it’s been awhile. Mostly due to technical difficulties. Partly due to time constraints.
We are leaving tomorrow for camping. It’s our first camping trip as a family. And, there will be no electricity. No laptop for 4 days. I will be twitching come Monday. But I’m excited, and it’s actually a little frightening, how organized I am. I have lists and more lists. I love making lists and checking things off as I accomplish them!
In other news…
Pawn, has pretty much moved in. So far, she’s great. There’s a comfort in her. And, in past relationships, I would see certain things that I didn’t like, and I would always think, “well, maybe they’ll come around?” but then they just never did. I haven’t had that with her so far. There’s nothing about her that just rubs me the wrong way. And, I usually always find something to complain about! J (Edit: There is one thing…she talks…a lot. A lot. A whole whole lot. Hehe.)
She hasn’t officially moved in. She still has her apartment in Troy. But she’s here just about every night. She and Magnum talked today about her paying us for rent, instead of renting her apartment. It’s a big step, but if I look at it from a practicality point of view, instead of a relationship point of view, it’s not so dramatic. Of course, we had considered Mist moving in before, and we are both so glad we dodged that bullet. I hate to compare the two, but Pawn has it ALL over Mist. There’s a comfort in her that I never even came close to with Mist, even though I tried like hell. And, I never feel like Pawn is trying to get past me to get to Magnum. She’s a very good equalizer.
I know that her actually moving in is going to change the whole dynamic of our family. The Magnum & Me time will be limited. How will it effect the kids? I mean, I don’t think it would be negative, but we won’t know that until we are already in to it. (Pawn and Lee definitely get along well!!!) And, we’ve only known her for a few months. But again, it goes back to the practical side, instead of the romantic side. And, then I think about holidays and how her being here will impact things. There’s definitely a lot to consider.
And, then there’s the family. Like, will we have to eventually tell people we are poly? Or do we just let them think what they like? I’ve never been one to feel as though I have to explain myself or my situation to anyone. And, there’s that fear that family won’t be so happy with the idea, and might not want us around so much. But, if the family is like that, then I would consider it their loss.
And, does it stop with Pawn? She and Magnum have had the “exclusive” talk. She and I have not. She and Magnum have agreed not to see others. She and I have not. I am poly. I don’t think I’ve ever even considered not dating anymore. I’m not very good at that. J As a matter of fact, a girl asked me out for Friday! J But of course, it’s the one Friday I will be out of town! She’s wicked cute though.
And, I’m gonna post this now, so I can ramble on about other stuff in a new blog.
(Another note: Smiley faces were lost in translation, and are now just "J". Weird huh? So the random J's are actually smiley faces that I don't want to go back and correct.)
So, it’s been awhile. Mostly due to technical difficulties. Partly due to time constraints.
We are leaving tomorrow for camping. It’s our first camping trip as a family. And, there will be no electricity. No laptop for 4 days. I will be twitching come Monday. But I’m excited, and it’s actually a little frightening, how organized I am. I have lists and more lists. I love making lists and checking things off as I accomplish them!
In other news…
Pawn, has pretty much moved in. So far, she’s great. There’s a comfort in her. And, in past relationships, I would see certain things that I didn’t like, and I would always think, “well, maybe they’ll come around?” but then they just never did. I haven’t had that with her so far. There’s nothing about her that just rubs me the wrong way. And, I usually always find something to complain about! J (Edit: There is one thing…she talks…a lot. A lot. A whole whole lot. Hehe.)
She hasn’t officially moved in. She still has her apartment in Troy. But she’s here just about every night. She and Magnum talked today about her paying us for rent, instead of renting her apartment. It’s a big step, but if I look at it from a practicality point of view, instead of a relationship point of view, it’s not so dramatic. Of course, we had considered Mist moving in before, and we are both so glad we dodged that bullet. I hate to compare the two, but Pawn has it ALL over Mist. There’s a comfort in her that I never even came close to with Mist, even though I tried like hell. And, I never feel like Pawn is trying to get past me to get to Magnum. She’s a very good equalizer.
I know that her actually moving in is going to change the whole dynamic of our family. The Magnum & Me time will be limited. How will it effect the kids? I mean, I don’t think it would be negative, but we won’t know that until we are already in to it. (Pawn and Lee definitely get along well!!!) And, we’ve only known her for a few months. But again, it goes back to the practical side, instead of the romantic side. And, then I think about holidays and how her being here will impact things. There’s definitely a lot to consider.
And, then there’s the family. Like, will we have to eventually tell people we are poly? Or do we just let them think what they like? I’ve never been one to feel as though I have to explain myself or my situation to anyone. And, there’s that fear that family won’t be so happy with the idea, and might not want us around so much. But, if the family is like that, then I would consider it their loss.
And, does it stop with Pawn? She and Magnum have had the “exclusive” talk. She and I have not. She and Magnum have agreed not to see others. She and I have not. I am poly. I don’t think I’ve ever even considered not dating anymore. I’m not very good at that. J As a matter of fact, a girl asked me out for Friday! J But of course, it’s the one Friday I will be out of town! She’s wicked cute though.
And, I’m gonna post this now, so I can ramble on about other stuff in a new blog.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
168
(So, apparently I wrote this a while back and never posted it? So here it is.)
Is there even such a thing as "having a good day" anymore? Try try try to have a good day and see if someone doesn't fucking bring you crashing right back into the dirt.
I just don't understand why he can't just get it. It's gotta be a control thing. I barely even talk to men these days. And, when I do talk to one, the fucking world is coming to a goddamned end.
He thinks it pisses me off because he doesn't want me to talk to him. But what pisses me off is that he doesn't trust me. I've been outrageously faithful to him, (even when he wasn't even talking to me for years), and now, for some odd reason, he can't trust me to maintain a friendship with a man? Without it just getting out of control? Unlike others, I do have control of who I do or do not fuck. So, what's the problem?
If chatting with a man gives me some perspective, what's the problem?
Is there even such a thing as "having a good day" anymore? Try try try to have a good day and see if someone doesn't fucking bring you crashing right back into the dirt.
I just don't understand why he can't just get it. It's gotta be a control thing. I barely even talk to men these days. And, when I do talk to one, the fucking world is coming to a goddamned end.
He thinks it pisses me off because he doesn't want me to talk to him. But what pisses me off is that he doesn't trust me. I've been outrageously faithful to him, (even when he wasn't even talking to me for years), and now, for some odd reason, he can't trust me to maintain a friendship with a man? Without it just getting out of control? Unlike others, I do have control of who I do or do not fuck. So, what's the problem?
If chatting with a man gives me some perspective, what's the problem?
Monday, May 11, 2009
167
This is going to be rambly...I just know it. You've been warnedededed. :)
So, Pawn. She's become a semi permanent fixture around here. She adds a sparkle, that's for sure. It's important for me that she stay positive. And, also, it's important that she not let me steam roll her. Because I will...if she lets me. So far she's been awesome at holding her own.
Magnum likes her. :) I like her. Her and Lee (my youngest daughter) have fun. :) It's kinda cute actually how well her and Lee get along. She's good with the younger kids too.
Speaking of Magnum, he's having issues (although I hesitate to use that word but it's all I can think of right now) with Ogre. Sigh. I can't explain it to him so that he understands how un...un...how...what's the word...unpussyhoundish...Ogre is. He's not sneaky. He's not trying to get down my pants. He's not trying to conquer me. He's not just waiting for Magnum's permission so he can jump me. He's just not like that. If Ogre were gay, could I be his friend then? Can we pretend he's a big flamin' homo? Just for friendships sake? I really really want he and Magnum to get along. And, I think they would, if Magnum were willing to try. But as we all know, he doesn't play well with others. He hasn't even met Ogre yet. I also understand his "issues". I get it. Ya know? But, I always ask people to not judge me until they get to know me. I just wish Magnum could do that with Ogre. Oy.
Lately I've been trying to fix my ex Mist up with Pawn's ex. :) They are really really a lot alike in a lot of ways. They are both kinda negative people and I'm hoping that two negatives make a positive. :)
Oh, and, I need a new job. I want a job that lets me travel. Any ideas?
So, Pawn. She's become a semi permanent fixture around here. She adds a sparkle, that's for sure. It's important for me that she stay positive. And, also, it's important that she not let me steam roll her. Because I will...if she lets me. So far she's been awesome at holding her own.
Magnum likes her. :) I like her. Her and Lee (my youngest daughter) have fun. :) It's kinda cute actually how well her and Lee get along. She's good with the younger kids too.
Speaking of Magnum, he's having issues (although I hesitate to use that word but it's all I can think of right now) with Ogre. Sigh. I can't explain it to him so that he understands how un...un...how...what's the word...unpussyhoundish...Ogre is. He's not sneaky. He's not trying to get down my pants. He's not trying to conquer me. He's not just waiting for Magnum's permission so he can jump me. He's just not like that. If Ogre were gay, could I be his friend then? Can we pretend he's a big flamin' homo? Just for friendships sake? I really really want he and Magnum to get along. And, I think they would, if Magnum were willing to try. But as we all know, he doesn't play well with others. He hasn't even met Ogre yet. I also understand his "issues". I get it. Ya know? But, I always ask people to not judge me until they get to know me. I just wish Magnum could do that with Ogre. Oy.
Lately I've been trying to fix my ex Mist up with Pawn's ex. :) They are really really a lot alike in a lot of ways. They are both kinda negative people and I'm hoping that two negatives make a positive. :)
Oh, and, I need a new job. I want a job that lets me travel. Any ideas?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
166
Busy weekend much?
I've wanted to write one thing, and haven't been able to fit it in...but...
I have a bruise on my mouth, my upper lip. :) Mmmmm, she's fiesty. :) And, the bruise is only from kissing...can you imagine if we were doing more than kissing? :) Crazy bitch!
I've wanted to write one thing, and haven't been able to fit it in...but...
I have a bruise on my mouth, my upper lip. :) Mmmmm, she's fiesty. :) And, the bruise is only from kissing...can you imagine if we were doing more than kissing? :) Crazy bitch!
Friday, May 8, 2009
164
Every year I make a list of things I want to do. And, then I don't do them. :) I want to quit procrastination. Dammit. I procrastinate and procrastinate and then I either get a rush as I finish up the task "just in time". Or, I end up disappointed.
So, here's a few things I'd like to do this summer:
Enter photography contests at the county fair. (I know it seems simple, but my photography is important to me, and this seems an easy and creative way to display and maybe get some feedback.)
I also would like to enter culinary contests for the fair. I think I make award winning salsa. :)
There are other things, but I'm just gonna mention those for now.
Peace.
So, here's a few things I'd like to do this summer:
Enter photography contests at the county fair. (I know it seems simple, but my photography is important to me, and this seems an easy and creative way to display and maybe get some feedback.)
I also would like to enter culinary contests for the fair. I think I make award winning salsa. :)
There are other things, but I'm just gonna mention those for now.
Peace.
163
I just don't understand.
How is it possible for me to still be a disappointment? Especially to the one person...that I don't want to disappoint?
I think I go above and beyond in so many ways. But, it just never seems like enough. It hurts my heart.
How is it possible for me to still be a disappointment? Especially to the one person...that I don't want to disappoint?
I think I go above and beyond in so many ways. But, it just never seems like enough. It hurts my heart.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
162
I know there's so much I should write about. Except...for some reason...:)...I'm exhausted.
I haven't had a lot of time to process yet. Once I process and organize my thoughts, I'll write more.
For now I just say this...
She's intelligent. Like, brainy. She's knows stuff about stuff. :) I likes.
She's certainly energetic. She talks constantly. :) I have to say "are you stillll talking?" to her sometimes. :)
She doesn't back down from me. The other day I was telling her about an insecurity I had, and she was like "oh deal with it". :) You go girl.
And, the Toga Farmer's Market opens this weekend. Anyone wanna go with me?
We also have our annual shoot this weekend...which I have not practiced for AT ALL. Oy.
And, I'm hungry. So maybe more later.
I haven't had a lot of time to process yet. Once I process and organize my thoughts, I'll write more.
For now I just say this...
She's intelligent. Like, brainy. She's knows stuff about stuff. :) I likes.
She's certainly energetic. She talks constantly. :) I have to say "are you stillll talking?" to her sometimes. :)
She doesn't back down from me. The other day I was telling her about an insecurity I had, and she was like "oh deal with it". :) You go girl.
And, the Toga Farmer's Market opens this weekend. Anyone wanna go with me?
We also have our annual shoot this weekend...which I have not practiced for AT ALL. Oy.
And, I'm hungry. So maybe more later.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
161
As I mentioned in my last blog, there was some anxiety, and I expressed it to Magnum.
But as soon as she got here, and I heard her voice and her laugh, my anxiety just melted away. She's like a burst of sunshine. :) (Lemon Starburst comes to mind?) And she's fucking sweet. And she fits. She fits right in with us both.
I guess I know that most of my anxiety comes from my own insecurity. It doesn't make it easier, but maybe it'll help me understand.
I'm sure I'll have more to write later. But right now there's a snuggly chick in my bed, and I think she's lonely. :)
But as soon as she got here, and I heard her voice and her laugh, my anxiety just melted away. She's like a burst of sunshine. :) (Lemon Starburst comes to mind?) And she's fucking sweet. And she fits. She fits right in with us both.
I guess I know that most of my anxiety comes from my own insecurity. It doesn't make it easier, but maybe it'll help me understand.
I'm sure I'll have more to write later. But right now there's a snuggly chick in my bed, and I think she's lonely. :)
Monday, May 4, 2009
160
So, we are having a sleep over. And, I have anxiety about it. Let me explain. :)
During our last relationship with a girl, she would sleep over and then when I would get up in the morning, she and Magnum would engage in extracurriculars. And, I always thought I would be fine, but I never really was. And, I don't want to do that this time. I want to understand why I feel that way, and what I need to do to not feel that way.
I've been trying to get to the bottom of why I feel like this. It's not like they haven't done this sort of thing before (both in my prescence & not). So, where does this anxiety come from? Is it a control thing?
I'm proud of myself for talking to Magnum about it though. Before I just would have suppressed, and then blown up later. So for the last few hours, I've been having this anxiety and I decided to talk to Magnum. And, just talking about it helped a little bit. I don't think he likes it. But, all I know is to express my feelings, and work on them together. I actually think he's a wee bit pissy about it. And, I really don't want it to be like that. I want to express how I feel, and then I want to work through it. (Of course, he says HE doesn't have anything to work through because he has no restrictions on me. Except, the one restriction there is, is the only restriction that would cause him to "feel" any way near what I'm feeling. Does that make sense? I think he can't imagine my fears or anxieties because I'm not sleeping with men. He says, he doesn't want to have these fears or anxieties and that's why he has a problem with me sleeping with men. Am I making any sense at all? Or does anyone really care what I'm writing?)
Don't get me wrong. When they are together, it makes me happy. Very happy. But then, I get all anxious.
I don't NOT want there to be a relationship between them, so why does this make me feel the way I feel?
And it's not new. I did it with Mist, and I did it in my last triad relationship. And, I don't want to do it anymore.
I am not versed in the ways of a poly relationship, so I am just learning how to deal with the particulars.
Now that I've rambled on for 18 pages (extra points for anyone who knows what that line is from)...I'm gonna go clean something.
During our last relationship with a girl, she would sleep over and then when I would get up in the morning, she and Magnum would engage in extracurriculars. And, I always thought I would be fine, but I never really was. And, I don't want to do that this time. I want to understand why I feel that way, and what I need to do to not feel that way.
I've been trying to get to the bottom of why I feel like this. It's not like they haven't done this sort of thing before (both in my prescence & not). So, where does this anxiety come from? Is it a control thing?
I'm proud of myself for talking to Magnum about it though. Before I just would have suppressed, and then blown up later. So for the last few hours, I've been having this anxiety and I decided to talk to Magnum. And, just talking about it helped a little bit. I don't think he likes it. But, all I know is to express my feelings, and work on them together. I actually think he's a wee bit pissy about it. And, I really don't want it to be like that. I want to express how I feel, and then I want to work through it. (Of course, he says HE doesn't have anything to work through because he has no restrictions on me. Except, the one restriction there is, is the only restriction that would cause him to "feel" any way near what I'm feeling. Does that make sense? I think he can't imagine my fears or anxieties because I'm not sleeping with men. He says, he doesn't want to have these fears or anxieties and that's why he has a problem with me sleeping with men. Am I making any sense at all? Or does anyone really care what I'm writing?)
Don't get me wrong. When they are together, it makes me happy. Very happy. But then, I get all anxious.
I don't NOT want there to be a relationship between them, so why does this make me feel the way I feel?
And it's not new. I did it with Mist, and I did it in my last triad relationship. And, I don't want to do it anymore.
I am not versed in the ways of a poly relationship, so I am just learning how to deal with the particulars.
Now that I've rambled on for 18 pages (extra points for anyone who knows what that line is from)...I'm gonna go clean something.
159
So I need to vent. This is my blog and if you don't want to hear me complain or whine or vent then just don't fucking read.
That having been said...
I'm bothered because I asked if I could mention Magnum's name in a different profile of mine, because men keep tagging me, and I'd rather they didn't. So, I figured if I put a little blurb in that mentioned his screen name, maybe they would get the clue. So, I suggested this to Magnum. And he was totally against it. Which, offended me? Maybe? I dunno. Then I started thinking, well it's probably just because he doesn't want other women to be able to check me out, as I have a habit of "stealing" his women. :) Except, soon after, he thanked and mentioned another woman on his blog. So....ugh.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why should that bother me? Why does it not bother me if he fucks someone else, but it bothers me if he showers with her? Sigh. I'm working on it. I'm trying to work it through in my head so that it doesn't make me crazy. Any suggestions or feedback would be awesome!
That having been said...
I'm bothered because I asked if I could mention Magnum's name in a different profile of mine, because men keep tagging me, and I'd rather they didn't. So, I figured if I put a little blurb in that mentioned his screen name, maybe they would get the clue. So, I suggested this to Magnum. And he was totally against it. Which, offended me? Maybe? I dunno. Then I started thinking, well it's probably just because he doesn't want other women to be able to check me out, as I have a habit of "stealing" his women. :) Except, soon after, he thanked and mentioned another woman on his blog. So....ugh.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why should that bother me? Why does it not bother me if he fucks someone else, but it bothers me if he showers with her? Sigh. I'm working on it. I'm trying to work it through in my head so that it doesn't make me crazy. Any suggestions or feedback would be awesome!
158
I need balance. Let me explain. (As if you have a choice!) :)
I just need...attention. Geez, that sounds shallow or needy. But, I don't want all of the attention, I just want (and need) a sliver of your attention now and then. I know there's a lot going on. I know there's all of this excited energy. But sometimes I just need you to look back down here, and give me your undivided attention. If you DVR a show, and you are watching it, and I want to talk to you...I mean really...is it so hard to pause the fucking tv so that I can talk to you? Instead of sighing and giving me a look like I'm just plain ol' bothering you? Especially, if I've spent a majority of my weekend cooking and cleaning with a four year old running around. I might just need a minute or two of your attention to remind me what a conversation that doesn't revolve around cheezit's and tricycles feels like.
That's all I got for now.
I just need...attention. Geez, that sounds shallow or needy. But, I don't want all of the attention, I just want (and need) a sliver of your attention now and then. I know there's a lot going on. I know there's all of this excited energy. But sometimes I just need you to look back down here, and give me your undivided attention. If you DVR a show, and you are watching it, and I want to talk to you...I mean really...is it so hard to pause the fucking tv so that I can talk to you? Instead of sighing and giving me a look like I'm just plain ol' bothering you? Especially, if I've spent a majority of my weekend cooking and cleaning with a four year old running around. I might just need a minute or two of your attention to remind me what a conversation that doesn't revolve around cheezit's and tricycles feels like.
That's all I got for now.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
157
I was told that I do this. I do this with new girls. And, I always say, but this time it's different. And then, 3 weeks down the road, I'm like "eh". And, maybe that's the truth. But, this is different in that I really really didn't think I would be into her. And, now she's all I can think about.
On our first date, we went to Chili's. And if you've ever been to Chili's with me, you know I salt each chip individually. So, on Friday, she and I and Magnum went to Chili's and as soon as they sat the basket of chips on the table, she put the salt right in front of me. It's THAT kinda simple stuff that I like. She remembered that little detail. I think she had me there. Is that weird?
I am a whack job. But we all knew that already, right?
On our first date, we went to Chili's. And if you've ever been to Chili's with me, you know I salt each chip individually. So, on Friday, she and I and Magnum went to Chili's and as soon as they sat the basket of chips on the table, she put the salt right in front of me. It's THAT kinda simple stuff that I like. She remembered that little detail. I think she had me there. Is that weird?
I am a whack job. But we all knew that already, right?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
155
Yeah, I was screaming like a girl. :) I walked up my steps to my bedroom earlier and as I got about half way up, I saw this black shadow out of the corner of my eye. So I stop, and look and then swooping around my room. A bat. :) Now, I'm not necessarily afraid of bats, but it caught me by surprise, so I went squealing down the steps screaming at Magnum. He's like what what what?????
Anyway, long story short...Magnum ended up going to the basement and getting a fishing net and bringing it upstairs and letting him go back outside. He was so cute and furry when he was in the net, but when he was flying around the room he looked like a damn pterodactyl.
But he flew away all safe and sound. :)
I can't even imagine if we would have been in bed, and the fucker started swooping around the room. I see me screaming and hiding under the blankets and saying "did you get it yet, did you get it yet?"
I'm going to bed now because Pawn kept us up and out until 4am...ugh.
Anyway, long story short...Magnum ended up going to the basement and getting a fishing net and bringing it upstairs and letting him go back outside. He was so cute and furry when he was in the net, but when he was flying around the room he looked like a damn pterodactyl.
But he flew away all safe and sound. :)
I can't even imagine if we would have been in bed, and the fucker started swooping around the room. I see me screaming and hiding under the blankets and saying "did you get it yet, did you get it yet?"
I'm going to bed now because Pawn kept us up and out until 4am...ugh.
154
So, I've decided that the summer will offer enough challenges without adding a writing challenge to it. Even though I should write something creative every day, I'm not gonna commit to anything.
Also, I saw Joy a lot this week, for business matters. And, I gotta tell ya, she's not what I would call cute. She's what I would call beautiful. I don't know what (or if) anything will ever come of of our "relationship", but I'm glad to have met her. A friend of mine once gave me a quote. :) She said something to me, and I've used it ever since. And it has helped me in a lot of ways. That quote is "Let it be what it is." And, now, Joy has also given me a quote that I have been using lately...and it ranks right up there with Let it be what it is. It's the "I try to own it" phrase. Really. It's amazing how much that little phrase helps me to get a handle on my feelings about different things. So simple, right?
And, in other news...........I hate to admit..........but..........Pawn is.......not what I thought she'd be at all. Damn. Damn Damn Dammit. She is as far from "eh" as a girl can get. She and Magnum and I, hung out last night. At first I was a little awkward because they already had a kind of relationship. So, I think I was sort of on the protective defensive side? Not defensive towards her, but I was being cautious. I was afraid that maybe I would feel...left out? Like, she and Magnum would have this connection, and I would be sitting there like a potato, being bored and moody.
Yeah, except, she's not like that. She doesn't do anything to make me uncomfortable. She doesn't make little comments or do little things that would make me uncomfortable, like she could if she were that type of girl. And, she doesn't let me bully her. And I LIKE that. A lot.
She is the opposite of what I thought she would be. We had so much fun. We laughed all night. But it never felt like it was Me & Her or Me & Magnum or Her & Magnum. It always felt like it was the 3 of us together, with no one being left out. And no one being moody. :) She's just a fun girl. I felt comfortable with her. Not in a comfortable cozy way, so much (mostly because we laughed and laughed and it never got to that point), but in a "let myself be me" sorta way. It is Rare that anyone see me in that "light" so early. :)
And, she got her kiss after much resistance from me. It wasn't what I would call a moment but it was nice. The girl can kiss, I'll give 'er that. And, although I say it wasn't what I wouuld call a moment, it was pretty awesome. Because once we started kissing...we kept going back to it...again and again and again. Then as we learned the in and outs (hehe) of each other, it just kept getting better. And, I can not wait, to see her again. :) I guess I have Magnum to thank, because I don't think I would have ever seen what I saw, if it weren't for him. So kudos to Magnum!
And, I'm tired and I'm typing in bed and my arms are hurting...so maybe more later.
Also, I saw Joy a lot this week, for business matters. And, I gotta tell ya, she's not what I would call cute. She's what I would call beautiful. I don't know what (or if) anything will ever come of of our "relationship", but I'm glad to have met her. A friend of mine once gave me a quote. :) She said something to me, and I've used it ever since. And it has helped me in a lot of ways. That quote is "Let it be what it is." And, now, Joy has also given me a quote that I have been using lately...and it ranks right up there with Let it be what it is. It's the "I try to own it" phrase. Really. It's amazing how much that little phrase helps me to get a handle on my feelings about different things. So simple, right?
And, in other news...........I hate to admit..........but..........Pawn is.......not what I thought she'd be at all. Damn. Damn Damn Dammit. She is as far from "eh" as a girl can get. She and Magnum and I, hung out last night. At first I was a little awkward because they already had a kind of relationship. So, I think I was sort of on the protective defensive side? Not defensive towards her, but I was being cautious. I was afraid that maybe I would feel...left out? Like, she and Magnum would have this connection, and I would be sitting there like a potato, being bored and moody.
Yeah, except, she's not like that. She doesn't do anything to make me uncomfortable. She doesn't make little comments or do little things that would make me uncomfortable, like she could if she were that type of girl. And, she doesn't let me bully her. And I LIKE that. A lot.
She is the opposite of what I thought she would be. We had so much fun. We laughed all night. But it never felt like it was Me & Her or Me & Magnum or Her & Magnum. It always felt like it was the 3 of us together, with no one being left out. And no one being moody. :) She's just a fun girl. I felt comfortable with her. Not in a comfortable cozy way, so much (mostly because we laughed and laughed and it never got to that point), but in a "let myself be me" sorta way. It is Rare that anyone see me in that "light" so early. :)
And, she got her kiss after much resistance from me. It wasn't what I would call a moment but it was nice. The girl can kiss, I'll give 'er that. And, although I say it wasn't what I wouuld call a moment, it was pretty awesome. Because once we started kissing...we kept going back to it...again and again and again. Then as we learned the in and outs (hehe) of each other, it just kept getting better. And, I can not wait, to see her again. :) I guess I have Magnum to thank, because I don't think I would have ever seen what I saw, if it weren't for him. So kudos to Magnum!
And, I'm tired and I'm typing in bed and my arms are hurting...so maybe more later.
Friday, May 1, 2009
153
So, I finished my poetry challenge. I wrote a poem a day for the month of April. I NEVER finish things. I start with all of these good intentions, and I NEVER finish. Except...guess what. I finished it. I did it. I committed to it. I followed through. Go me!
And, I decided for the month of May I need a challenge...besides Joy. :) So, one of my options is from here and contains the following for today.
Friday, May 1, 2009
What's on your plate?
What are some animals that you eat?
Is it okay for people to raise animals and kill them for food? Is it okay for people to kill wild animals for food?
Is it okay for people to kill wild animals for sport? Is it okay for people to kill domesticated animals for sport?
Do you sometimes eat less meat as a way of reducing your contribution to the suffering of animals? Do you sometimes eat less meat for the sake of your own health?
This week's theme is your relationship with nature.
And, I decided for the month of May I need a challenge...besides Joy. :) So, one of my options is from here and contains the following for today.
Friday, May 1, 2009
What's on your plate?
What are some animals that you eat?
Is it okay for people to raise animals and kill them for food? Is it okay for people to kill wild animals for food?
Is it okay for people to kill wild animals for sport? Is it okay for people to kill domesticated animals for sport?
Do you sometimes eat less meat as a way of reducing your contribution to the suffering of animals? Do you sometimes eat less meat for the sake of your own health?
This week's theme is your relationship with nature.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)